


Blood, Guts, and Balogna Sandwiches

by SecretMaker



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, F/F, FTM Kuroo, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, More tags to be added, Multi, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-04-29 08:37:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5121875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretMaker/pseuds/SecretMaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The closing of the door jolted Kei awake. He took a moment to remind himself where he was and what was happening, starting with the most immediate and working his way out.</p><p>1. He was propped up against a wall.</p><p>2. He was starving and cold.</p><p>3. The team had taken shelter in an abandoned mall, and Narita had found enough supplies in the food court that he could probably get some breakfast today.</p><p>4. He could hear Tanaka and Suga talking about supplies somewhere in the room. He could also hear Kageyama snoring somewhere close by.</p><p>5. They had taken shelter because the world had decided to go to shit and there were few places left for them to hide.</p><p> </p><p>***ON PERMANENT HIATUS***</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Yamaguchi laughed as Kei stood, glaring at the falling snow. He had his hand in Kei’s, tucked in the pocket of Kei’s jacket, standing with their shoulders pressed together in the cold air outside the gym. Somewhere off to the side Nishinoya and Hinata were yelling about having a snowball fight, and Yamaguchi laughed even harder. Kei turned to look at him, his heart swelling._  
  
 _He reached out with his free hand to tuck a stray bit of hair back into Yamaguchi’s beanie, watching the way his cheeks lit up at the gesture._  
  
 _“How does that still embarrass you?” Kei asked, softly enough that the rest of the team couldn’t hear. Yamaguchi glanced at the ground, then looked up at Kei through his eyelashes, and Kei’s heart skipped a beat._  
  
 _“I can’t help it, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said. “It just makes me so happy, getting to be with you.” Kei turned his head away and mumbled a ‘shut up Yamaguchi,’ but he knew that Yamaguchi could see the smile tugging on the corners of his mouth._  
  
 _“Sorry, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi whispered, his voice shaking with tears. “I’m so sorry.”_  
  
  
  
The closing of the door jolted Kei awake. He took a moment to remind himself where he was and what was happening, starting with the most immediate and working his way out.  
  
1\. He was propped up against a wall.  
  
2\. He was starving and cold.  
  
3\. The team had taken shelter in an abandoned mall, and Narita had found enough supplies in the food court that he could probably get some breakfast today.  
  
4\. He could hear Tanaka and Suga talking about supplies somewhere in the room. He could also hear Kageyama snoring somewhere close by.  
  
5\. They had taken shelter because the world had decided to go to shit and there were few places left for them to hide.  
  
Kei sat up and fumbled with one hand for his glasses, using the other to scrub the sleep from his eyes.  
  
“Ah, you’re awake.” He pushed his glasses into place and looked up to see Suga making his way toward him. “Good, we need you on a supply run.” Kei nodded and pushed himself to his feet. Suga put a steadying hand on his shoulder and handed him a flashlight. “Nishinoya and Daichi are in the parking garage. They’re hoping there might be something down there that still works.” Kei nodded and turned to go, stepping numbly over Kageyama’s legs.  
  
The parking garage wasn’t far from where they were camping, and it only took a minute or two before Kei could hear voices.   
  
“Tsukishima, there you are!” Nishinoya yelled as soon as he stepped around the corner. “Oh, great, you’ve got a light. C’mere and shine it for us. Asahi keeps saying I’m not holding it right.”  
  
“You aren’t,” Daichi commented from under a large truck. “You never hold it steady, and we need to see what we’re doing.” Nishinoya made a face at Asahi, who just smiled and held up his hands in a placating gesture. Kei moved up to the truck, holding his flashlight above the engine block. Asahi turned his wrist gently to direct the beam on a bit of mechanics, then sighed.  
  
“No good, Daichi,” he said. “This belt is shot and I don’t see any other trucks here that would have one big enough.” Daichi cursed and slithered out from under the truck. He leaned over the engine to look at the part Asahi was pointing out.  
  
“Damn it, you’re right,” he grumbled. “Alright, Noya, Tsukishima, looks like we’re going on foot. You okay with that?” Kei nodded, flicking off the flashlight. He slung his bag off of his shoulder and pulled out the crowbar he kept inside. He shifted it to his other hand and pulled the bag back over his shoulder. Daichi gave him a nod and the three of them set off.  
  
Nishinoya was surprisingly quiet when they went out on runs like this. He stuck close to Kei’s side, constantly adjusting his grip on the bat he carried and staring at their surroundings with wide, attentive eyes. It almost irritated Kei more than his usual noise. Daichi, on the other hand, was exactly the same no matter where they went. He gave orders in a quiet but firm tone, keeping an eye on any of the team who had gone out with him, always ready to call out an attack or a retreat. It was only ever late at night, when he and Suga were sitting against a wall at the far end of whatever building they had camped in and everyone else was supposed to be asleep that Daichi ever showed a sign of weakness.  
  
No one ever said anything. They all had their nightmares, after all.  
  
Daichi led them out of the shopping complex and down what must have been a busy street once. Now it was empty save for a few abandoned cars, a bit of garbage, and three teenage boys. Kei’s jaw tightened as they left the street behind, turning into a seedy alleyway. Daichi stopped at the door to a bar, considering it. He glanced at Kei, who thought for a moment, then nodded.  
  
Daichi went in first. He always went in first. Something about a captain’s pride and not letting any of his teammates be the first in the line of fire. That and he was the only one besides Ukai who had a gun - a rusty old thing that only fired one in three times the trigger was pulled, but a gun nonetheless. Kei followed, gripping his crowbar a little tighter as Nishinoya brought up the rear.   
  
“Noya, you check the bathrooms,” Daichi said once they were inside. “There should be a first aid kit, and we can always use more toilet paper. Tsukishima, you get the bar. We need vodka, and there might be a weapon or two under the counter.”  
  
“What do we need vodka for?” Nishinoya hissed. “Ukai’s not gonna let us get wasted, y’know.”  
  
“Sterilization,” Daichi explained. “Bathroom, now.” Noya grumbled and slouched off, but Kei could see the tension in his shoulders. Kei caught Daichi by the arm and gestured to the kitchen, making a chopping motion with his free hand. “Knives?” Daichi asked. Kei nodded. Daichi patted him on the shoulder and moved to the kitchen door while Kei vaulted the bar. Daichi cocked his pistol and pushed the door open. Out of the corner of his eye Kei thought he saw a familiar shadow. He reached out to grab Daichi’s shirt.  
  
It was a good thing, too, because in his surprise Daichi only had time to pull the trigger once when Kuroo came bursting through the kitchen door. The gun clicked and did not fire and Kei tugged Daichi back by the shirt, pulling him out of the way of Kuroo’s machete.  
  
“Holy shit- Karasuno!” Kuroo shouted, stumbling a bit with the force of his swing. “What the hell are you doing here?”  
  
“I could ask you the same thing!” Noya shouted from the door to the bathroom.  
  
“Kuroo, you idiot,” said someone from the kitchen. Nekoma’s libero came out, glaring up at Kuroo. “They’re doing the same thing we’re doing.” Kuroo’s eyes widened and he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.  
  
“Sorry ‘bout that, Sawamura,” he said. “I didn’t exactly expect to see you here.”  
  
“No problem,” Daichi answered, grinning. “I did try to shoot you after all.”  
  
“Yeah, I noticed that, Kuroo said, eying Daichi’s gun dubiously. “How have you managed to survive with that thing?”  
  
“Luck,” Daichi answered. Kuroo’s eyes darkened.  
  
“Say, I hate to ask, but are you three-”  
  
“No,” Daichi interrupted. His voice grew quiet, and he glanced at Kei. “Almost our entire team made it. We’re sheltering nearby.” Both Kuroo’s expression and the libero’s turned dark.  
  
“Where, exactly?” Kuroo asked. Daichi described the mall to him, and he swore.  
  
“We need to get you guys out of there, quick,” Kuroo said. The libero was already making his way to the door.  
  
“What? Why?” asked Nishinoya.  
  
“Because there’s a nest in that mall,” Kuroo said. “By tonight there’ll be hundreds of infected, all over the place.”  
  
Kei had never seen Daichi do something illogical. He had never seen him rush headlong into danger or take the rash course of action. But when he heard Kuroo say that his face paled and he bolted out into the street. Kuroo swore and bolted after him.  
  
  
  
 _It was like every other bus ride to Tokyo. Nishinoya and Tanaka were excitedly trash talking the teams they would be facing, Hinata was making loud squawking noises, Daichi and Suga were watching them fondly like the disgusting old couple they were. Kei was leaning against the window, listening to Yamaguchi chat with Yachi across the aisle. He was smiling._  
  
 _Takeda pulled the bus off of the highway and into a gas station parking lot. He and Ukai started herding the team off the bus and into the convenience store. Kei yawned and stretched, humming in contentment when his joints cracked. He took Yamaguchi’s hand with a smile and they walked into the store together._  
  
 _“Man, this place reeks,” Kei commented, grinning when Yamaguchi snickered behind his palm. “You’d think they’d do something about that smell.”_  
  
 _“Tsukki, be nice,” Yamaguchi said, though they both knew he didn’t mean it. Kei smirked at him, gesturing with his chin to the cashier. He was staring at Kiyoko and Yachi with a hungry look in his eye. “What a creep,” Yamaguchi scoffed. He tugged Kei over to the girls, positioning himself so that they blocked the cashier’s view. There was a groaning sound behind them, but Kei ignored it._  
  
  
  
Kei sprinted after Kuroo and Daichi, only just managing to keep them in his sight. His heart was pounding and his limbs were screaming at him, but he kept going. They had lost too much for either of those idiots to die a stupid, heroic death now.  
  
They made it to the mall without incident, which sent a pang of terror through Kei. He caught up to the captains at last as they crept through a corridor.  
  
“Our camp is over here,” Daichi whispered, mounting the steps of an escalator. Kuroo nodded and started to climb behind him.  
  
“Ah, Daichi, you’re back!” Suga called as soon as Daichi’s head cleared the floor. “That was fast, did you get-”  
  
“Suga, we need to leave,” Daichi interrupted. By now Kei was on the second floor, watching Suga stare at Daichi and Kuroo in confusion. “It’s not safe here. We need to get out.”  
  
“Do we have a place to go?” Suga asked. Kuroo nodded.  
  
“We’ve got a camp not to far,” he said. “We should be able to make it before dark if we leave soon.” Suga nodded.  
  
“The team’s eating dinner in the shoe store,” he said. “I’ll go get them. You three start packing.”  
  
“Three?” Daichi spun around to stare at Kei, standing alone near the escalator. “Where’s Noya?”  
  
“Relax, Sawamura,” Kuroo said. “Yaku probably took him back with him. He’ll be fine.” Daichi looked torn, so Kuroo added in a lower voice, “You have fourteen other people to worry about. Get them safe first.” Daichi nodded a couple times, his thoughts almost visible on his face.  
  
“You’re right,” he said. “Okay, Tsukishima, you and Kuroo start with the food bags. I’ll pull some of the packs together.” Kei nodded and set to work, Kuroo following close behind.  
  
“For what it’s worth,” Kuroo said when they were away from Daichi, “I’m glad to see you.” Kei blinked at him. He nodded slightly and turned back to his work.  
  
He knew Kuroo was worried. He was too observant not to be. But Kei couldn’t tell him, even if he wanted to. And he didn’t have to. Suga would probably fill him in sometime that night, and then he would start giving Kei the same pitying looks that the rest of the team was sending him, the ones that made his skin crawl.  
  
The team came crowding into the camp with the same chaos that they brought everywhere. Suga and Takeda orchestrated it masterfully, directing them by grade level into tasks that had the camp entirely cleaned within an hour. When Kuroo led the group down the escalator and out of the mall there was no sign of their ever having been there.  
  
They were quiet when they walked. That was the use of an apocalypse, Kei supposed. It could teach even morons like Hinata and Tanaka to shut up when they had to. Kei found himself hating the silence, found himself wishing for his headphones. But there was only so much charge left in his mp3 player, and Kei had to conserve it. The electric grid had gone down with the rest of humanity, and with the rest of Kei’s sanity.  
  
He smirked to himself at the thought, then immediately hated himself for it. He shoved the thought, and the memories it brought with it back down into the deep corner of his mind where those things belonged. There was no room for them in this world.  
  
Kuroo led them along a twisting route, through alleys and side streets, avoiding the main roads with practiced care. Kei could see him keeping an eye on the sun, marking its progress toward dusk. Daylight didn’t necessarily make them any safer, but it was still easier to run and fight when they could see what they were doing.   
  
It was easier to pretend everything was okay in the daylight.  
  
They reached the camp just as the lengthening shadows were turning to twilight. Kuroo stopped them in front of a blocky government building, old and boring and secure. He shielded his eyes and scanned the building, stopping and waving when he saw something. An arm appeared on the roof and waved back and he led the way up the stairs.  
  
“There are about twenty of us here, thirty with you lot,” he explained as they climbed. “This place is defensible, but such a large number can draw attention. We can’t be too careful about the perimeter.” He didn’t seem to expect an answer, and no one gave one. They filed through the door one at a time, Daichi waiting until the very end to follow.  
  
“You made it!” Kei looked up sharply to see Nishinoya running toward them. “God, I thought I’d abandoned you to your death,” he cried, throwing himself at Narita, who happened to be closest to him. Narita caught him in a tight hug, then passed him over to Asahi. Kei stood to the side as the team passed Nishinoya around, feeling their relief though he was detached from it.   
  
“Kai,” Kuroo said, turning to one of his teammates who was posted near the door. “Do we have space for them?”  
  
“We do, but you need to stop picking up strays,” Kai answered. “I’ll get them set up in the traffic office.” Kuroo nodded and Kai walked off, ushering the team with him.  
  
“Tsukki,” Kuroo said softly. Kei nodded and stayed while the team filed out. Daichi paused to glance back at him, but left without comment. Kuroo stood still for a moment, then turned and led Kei through another door.   
  
“Bits and pieces of the entire Fukurodani group are here,” he explained as they walked. “About half of Shinzen and five or so from Ubugawa. Akaashi, Bokuto, and Konoha are all that made if from Fukurdani. I’ve got two-thirds of my team.” His voice was soft, but there was no sadness there. Just the grim acceptance that Kei knew only too well. “I figured you’d want some quiet for a while before Bokuto got ahold of you.”  
  
Kei nodded, grateful. Kuroo led him to a small office with a large window. Kei stood in front of the desk, looking down at its wood surface.  
  
“Do you want me to stay?” Kuroo asked softly. Kei hesitated, then nodded. “Do you want to tell me?” Kei shook his head. “Alright,” Kuroo said. He wrapped an arm firmly around Kei’s shoulder.  
  
It was the first time Kei had been touched in three and a half weeks.  
  
  
  
 _The groaning noise grew louder. Kei turned to see the cashier shuffling toward them, one foot turned out at an odd angle. He nudged Yamaguchi, who looked up as well._  
  
 _“Yachi-san, Shimizu-senpai,” Kei said softly. “I think we should go.” Yachi and Kiyoko looked up, confused. Kiyoko caught sight of the cashier and grabbed Yachi’s arm, leading her away slowly. There was a crash across the convenience store. Suga stumbled over a rack of chips, backing up from a pair of women who were moving toward him with the same shuffling gait as the cashier._  
  
 _“Everyone, get back to the bus,” Daichi called. “Calmly.” The team began to file out of the store, everyone moving slowly with their eyes on the shufflers. Kei stepped in something slippery and went down, landing with a crash. The cashier lunged for him, only missing because Yamaguchi tugged him out of the way by his jacket. Kei scrambled to his feet and sprinted for the door, dragging Yamaguchi along behind him. He stumbled over the threshold and lost his grip, turning wildly._  
  
 _Yamaguchi was the last one left in the store. He looked at Kei with wild eyes, then smiled._  
  
 _“Sorry, Tsukki,” he said. “I’m so sorry.” Before Kei could say a word he shoved his shoulder into the freezer by the door, knocking it over. He vaulted past the cashier, drawing his attention and the attention of the two women._  
  
 _Strong arms wrapped around Kei’s waist, hauling him off of the ground. He thrashed, screaming and kicking and trying to make them understand that Yamaguchi was still in there, that Yamaguchi needed them, but he was ignored. Daichi dragged him onto the bus and slammed the door shut. Takeda drove off. The last thing Kei saw through the back window of the bus was Yamaguchi’s silhouette as he went down._  
  
 _He crumbled to the floor._


	2. Chapter 2

Tetsurou held Tsukishima as the boy started to tremble. Tsukishima turned in Tetsurou’s hold, burying his face against Tetsurou’s shirt and clutching at his back. Tetsurou held him tighter, burying his nose in Tsukishima’s hair.  
  
Tetsurou wasn’t an idiot. He had noticed the missing member of Karasuno before they had left the mall. He had realized that there was a reason Tsukishima hadn’t said a word the entire time he had been with Kuroo, and - judging by the way Karasuno moved around him - probably a lot longer before that, too. Tetsurou cursed whatever god could allow something to happen to a kid as sweet as Yamaguchi. He couldn’t even begin to process his anger over Tsukishima having seen whatever it was.  
  
Tetsurou’s shoulder was growing damp, though Tsukishima still made no sound. What was left of Tetsurou’s heart melted and he loosened his hold just enough to run a hand through Tsukishima’s hair.  
  
“It’s alright, Tsukishima,” he whispered. “You’re safe here. I won’t tell anyone.” Tsukishima pulled away to look up at him with wide, questioning eyes. “You have to be strong, I get it,” Tetsurou told him. “I’m offering a place for you to break down, away from everyone else. No judgment. Whatever happens in this room stays here, I promise. Once we leave it never happened.” Tsukishima nodded and hid back in Tetsurou’s shoulder with a sniffle.  
  
  
  
The sun had set long ago by the time Tetsurou rejoined the others in the unofficial mess hall. He sighed heavily as he sat on the ground next to Akaashi, slumping against his shoulder. Akaashi shifted to free his arm enough to wrap it around Tetsurou’s shoulder.  
  
“Sawamura-san told us what happened to Yamaguchi,” he murmured. Tetsurou nodded. There were only three other people in the hall, the loud second years from Karasuno and someone from Sinzen whose name Tetsurou still hadn’t learned. Bokuto was nowhere to be seen.  
  
“Whatever it was,” he said quietly so that only Akaashi could hear, “it’s got Tsukki completely messed up. The kid hasn’t spoken a word, probably since it happened.  
  
“Apparently they were at a gas station on their way here when they were attacked,” Akaashi told him. “Tsukishima went down, and Yamaguchi barricaded himself in the store to save him. Tsukishima saw him die through the bus window.”  
  
“Shit,” Tetsurou hissed. His eyes were burning with the image of Tsukishima watching his world fall apart. “No wonder.”  
  
“I assume you hid him upstairs?” Akaashi asked.  
  
“Yeah, he fell asleep a couple minutes ago,” Tetsurou answered. Akaashi hummed and nodded.  
  
“Good. As much as I admire Bokuto-san, I really think it’s best if he doesn’t get anywhere near Tsukishima just yet.” Akaashi pulled Tetsurou a little closer. “Are you okay?” Tetsurou nodded, hesitated, then shook his head. “What do you need?”  
  
“Just this,” Tetsurou answered, pressing against Akaashi’s side.  
  
“Take it off first,” Akaashi said, pulling his arm away. Tetsurou thought about protesting. He never felt right without it on, always felt like his skin was too tight. But he was tired and the mess hall was empty now. And besides, Akaashi was the one who took care of Tetsurou when he was too busy taking care of everyone else. If Akaashi said he needed to do something, he needed to do it. Tetsurou sat up and pulled his shirt over his head. With one hand he fiddled with the eyelet hooks going down his ribs while the other pressed firm against his chest.  
  
The contradictory sensation of freedom whenever he did this was something Tetsurou couldn’t quite describe. Physically, it felt amazing; there was no pressure on his chest, no difficulty breathing. But when he pulled his shirt back on and curled up against Akaashi’s side, his breasts pressed against Akaashi’s hip and it felt so _wrong_. Akaashi settled a hand at Tetsurou’s waist, gently stroking his thumb against Tetsurou’s stomach.  
  
Bokuto found them there not long after. He flopped down on Akaashi's other side with a drawn out groan and tipped over so that his head was resting on Akaashi's lap.  
  
"Long day?" Akaashi asked. Bokuto whined.  
  
"I can't find Tsukki anywhere," he moaned. Akaashi smirked at Tetsurou as he ran his fingers through Bokuto's hair.  
  
"He doesn't want to be found," Tetsurou said. Bokuto glared up at him suspiciously.  
  
"You say that like you know where he is," he accused. Tetsurou shrugged.  
  
"I hid him," he admitted. "He's not ready to be around more people than absolutely necessary right now. Face it, bro, you're kinda a loud person."  
  
"Is that a bad thing?" Bokuto asked, his voice small. Tetsurou smiled and shook his head.  
  
"Nah, it's just more than Tsukki can handle right now," he told him. Bokuto still looked dubious, so Tetsurou grinned at him and slid down to lay on his side, his head on the thigh not occupied by Bokuto. "Hey, have either of you seen Kenma?" he asked.  
  
"He said he'd be out here in a few minutes," Bokuto answered. "Something about Shorty and that new-video-game expression Kenma gets." Tetsurou smiled.  
  
"Oh yeah, I forgot the shrimp would be here with the rest of them," he said. Akaashi chuckled.  
  
"Kenma would never forget," he said. "I've never seen him so open with someone before. It almost makes me jealous." Tetsurou snorted.  
  
"Nah, the shrimp's too caught up in his angry genius to be a threat," Tetsurou said. Akaashi smacked him lightly on the head. "What was that for?"  
  
"Kenma is free to pursue a romantic relationship with whomever he wishes," Akaashi told him. "If he wants to be with Hinata-kun, he is more than free to. It's not your place to insinuate."  
  
"I wasn't insinuating, you were!" Tetsurou protested. "You were the jealous one! Kenma talks to me!"  
  
"Kenma talks to me too," Akaashi told him. "Who do you think he comes to when the rest of you wear him out? Besides, that's not what I meant. I'm glad he had a friend he feels that comfortable around. I'm jealous that I couldn't be that friend, but that doesn't mean I am dissatisfied at all with what I do have." Tetsurou craned his neck to see the smile he could hear in Akaashi's voice. Sure enough it was there, small, fond, and reserved entirely for Kenma. Tetsurou smiled himself.  
  
"Yeah," he said softly. "I know what you mean." Before he could say more Bokuto sprang upright.  
  
"Kenma!" he shouted, staring across the room. Tetsurou turned his head to see Kenma rolling his eyes and walking toward them with a plate of food in his hands. "Come cuddle with us!" Bokuto yelled.  
  
"Only if you're quiet," Kenma said. "Kuro, sit up. You need to eat." Tetsurou obliged and Kenma handed him the plate before sitting in his lap. Tetsurou wound his arms around Kenma's waist and settled his chin on Kenma's shoulder, looking down at the food with a pleased hum. He picked up a piece of dried fruit and popped it into his mouth, trying to pretend it had more flavor.  
  
"Thanks, kitten," he whispered, pecking Kenma on the cheek.  
  
"How'd it go with Tsukishima?" Kenma asked softly. The other two watched him and Tetsurou sighed.  
  
"He's pretty broken up," he told them. "Poor kid took it rough. He's sleeping now, but he had a good long break down, about an hour long. He still hasn't said a word." Kenma made a soft acknowledging noise and leaned into Tetsurou's chest. Tetsurou kissed him again in thanks.  
  
"You're worried about him," Akaashi prompted. Tetsurou nodded, squeezing Kenma a little tighter.  
  
"Yeah," he murmured. "I've always worried about him."  
  
"You know that's not what I mean," Akaashi scolded. Tetsurou winced.  
  
"I know, I know," he said, holding one hand up in surrender. "But you know as well as me that he wasn't interested. And I'm not about to press in when he just lost Yamaguchi."  
  
"We know you wouldn't bro," said Bokuto. "It's okay to worry though."  
  
"Regardless of how you feel he is our friend," Akaashi agreed. "I just want to make sure that you're going to be okay with him here." Tetsurou smiled.  
  
"Yeah," he said. "I will be."  
  
  
  
Kenma whimpered in his sleep, pressing a little closer to Tetsurou. His brow was furrowed and his nose scrunched and the hand that was clutching to Tetsurou's shirt trembled. There were tears sliding down his cheeks. Tetsurou blinked back tears and pulled Kenma a little closer.  
  
No one in the camp was a stranger to nightmares. Virtually everyone had them, and every night someone would wake up screaming. Mostly Kenma just cried.  
  
Tetsurou couldn't remember the last time he'd had a dream. Most nights he stayed up late keeping watch over the camp or over Kenma, and by the time he did fall asleep he was too exhausted to dream. Watching Kenma, he figured that was probably a blessing.  
  
The sound of a door opening and closing pulled Tetsurou out of his thoughts. Soft, almost silent footsteps made their way toward him. Tetsurou braced one hand on Kenma's back and reached slowly with the other to grab the machete lying next to him. He was just about to use it when he caught sight of the intruder's blond hair, and the moonlight glinting off his glasses.  
  
"Tsukki?" he hissed. Tsukishima winced, and Tetsurou wanted to slap himself for the slip. "Tsukishima, what are you doing down here? Are you okay?" Tsukishima nodded. He gestured to the bit of floor next to Tetsurou with a questioning expression. Tetsurou nodded and Tsukishima sat, folding his legs under him daintily.  
  
"Couldn't sleep?" Tetsurou asked. Tsukishima shot him a look, and he grinned. "Hey, you're not the only one," he said. "Kenma here gets five hours on a good night. I average four, and I know for a fact Akaashi gets even less." Tetsurou sighed, looking at the ceiling. "No one really sleeps during the apocalypse, huh?"  
  
Tsukishima shivered, drawing Tetsurou's attention. He was sitting stiffly, staring at the opposite wall with an unreadable expression. Tetsurou lifted up the blanket on the side not occupied by Kenma.  
  
"C'mon," he whispered. "You look cold." Tsukishima shot him a dubious look, but seemed to decide it wasn't worth fighting over. Instead he slithered under the blanket without a sound, resting his head on Tetsurou's arm when it was offered. Tetsurou cradled his shoulders and tangled one of his legs with both of Tsukishima's.  
  
He could feel Tsukishima's breathing against his neck and Kenma's on his collar bone. Kenma had stopped crying at some point and was breathing soft and even, the nightmare evidently over. Tetsurou let his eyes slip closed.  
  
It was warm. Since the electric grid had gone down a few weeks back most people had taken to huddling together against the chill. Kenma had never been one for large groups, so the two of them avoided the pile of bodies in the main room. Now, with Kenma and Tsukishima sharing a single blanket with him, Tetsurou was comfortable enough to drift off for the first time in what felt like years.  
  
  
  
Tsukishima was gone when Tetsurou woke up the next morning, his place taken by Bokuto.  
  
"Hey, bro, g'morning," Bokuto said, nuzzling Tetsurou's arm.  
  
"Hey," Tetsurou mumbled. "Where's Tsukki?"  
  
"He went up to Karasuno's room a while back," Bokuto said.  
  
"Did you talk to him?" Tetsurou asked, not quite sure if his dread was founded. Bokuto's face took on a tight expression and he nodded.  
  
"You were right," he said softly. "I tried to be quiet and calm, like Akaashi's always tellin' me, but I think I still overwhelmed him." Bokuto looked disgusted with himself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt him," he whispered.  
  
"Bo, I need you to calm down for me," Tetsurou said. "Tsukishima's behavior is not a judgement on you. He needs space right now, but eventually he's going to need friendship. That's when you're gonna be good for him, bro." Bokuto looked up at him, his expression uncertain.  
  
"I'm never gonna be good for him," he said. "He hates me, always has."  
  
"That's not true." They both turned to look at Kenma, who was stirring on Tetsurou's other side. "Tsukishima wouldn't have put up with you if he hated you."  
  
"He puts up with the guys on his team," Tetsurou pointed out.  
  
"They're different," Kenma said. "They're his team, he didn't have a choice but to talk to them. But if he didn't like you he wouldn't have kept practicing with you at the training camps." Bokuto looked calmer when he heard that. Tetsurou mouthed a thank you at Kenma, who simply nodded.  
  
"Come on," he said, sitting up and taking the other two with him. "Let's go get some breakfast before Karasuno eats it all."  
  
  
  
Tetsurou had a mandatory free day today. It was something he and Akaashi and Kai had implemented together, to make sure no one overworked themselves or put themselves in too much danger. Each person had a day every week when they were required to stay in the camp, ideally doing nothing.  
  
Of course, it never worked out that way. There was always work to be done, and Tetsurou hated feeling like he wasn't doing his part. So he spent today in the kitchens with Konoha and Sugawara.  
  
As it turned out, Sugawara was excellent company. He was chatty and friendly, and much more devious than he looked. He was also apparently brilliant with a knife.  
  
"My uncle used to drag me out hunting," he explained as he skinned one of the rabbits that had been caught in Akaashi's traps. "Never thought I would actually need to know this stuff, but I'm grateful that I do now." Tetsurou nodded and grinned while Konoha looked on, disgusted. Sugawara took hold of the pelt with both hands and tugged, stripping it off in one swoop.  
  
"You," Tetsurou said, brandishing his potato peeler at Sugawara, "are much more than you seem." Sugawara grinned and winked at him and if Tetsurou wasn't already so caught up in a tangled mess of his own he swore he would have fallen in love right then and there. From the look on his face, Konoha certainly did.  
  
"So, if you don't mind," Sugawara said, his voice uncertain. He trailed off and stared at the rabbit carcass.  
  
"Go ahead," Konoha said. "There's nothing you can say that's more insensitive than some of the stuff Bokuto has spouted." Sugawara smiled, but it was a weak thing.  
  
"How did you all end up here?" he asked. "I mean, all together. In the same place."  
  
"We were already together," Tetsurou explained. "We were at Fukurodani, waiting for you guys to arrive so we could start the camp. It didn't hit Tokyo until a couple of days after it hit Miyagi. We wondered where you guys were." He cringed, remembering his own hysterics when he caught the report, thinking that Karasuno hadn't made it.  
  
Kenma had been close to tears, but for once Tetsurou hadn't even thought of him. He had started packing his bags. When Bokuto had asked what he was doing, he had said plainly that he was going to find out what had happened, and see if any of their friends were still alive. Bokuto had grabbed him around the waist to keep him there, while Lev and Akaashi held him down by the shoulders. Tetsurou had thrashed and screamed and sobbed, accusing all of them of murdering the crows.  
  
Now he looked at Sugawara, alive and intact. He thought about Tsukishima and the way he had sobbed silently in his arms. A part of him still wished he had gone after all, even though he knew that it would have been too late to save Yamaguchi.  
  
"One of the coaches was bitten," Konoha continued for him. "He didn't realize it was a big deal, until halfway through a set when he started groaning. He attacked Nekomata, and the other coaches tried to pull him off. By the time we realized what had happened he had gotten two of the Ubugawa players, and Oonaga. A few people ran. We're not sure what happened to them. Kuroo-san got the rest of us together and we started looking for a place to set up camp. We found this building about two weeks ago, and we've been here ever since."  
  
"You brought everyone here?" Sugawara asked, looking at Tetsurou with wide eyes. Tetsurou shrugged and rubbed at the back of his neck.  
  
"He makes it sound a lot cooler than it was," he said. "Really I was just repeating whatever Akaashi told me." Sugawara nodded.  
  
"That sounds right," he said softly. "I'm sorry that you lost so many, though."  
  
Neither of them answered; there was nothing to say. Tetsurou went back to peeling potatoes while Sugawara butchered the rabbit and Konoha continued washing their cooking pots.  
  
"Okay," Sugawara said after a while. "Kuroo-san, can I ask you a question?"  
  
"Yes, his hair is naturally that atrocious," Konoha droned. "He isn't hoarding hair gel." Sugawara giggled lightly at that.  
  
"No, although that does amaze me," he said. "It's actually a more personal question." Sugawara glanced at Konoha significantly.  
  
"It's fine," Tetsurou said. "I don't really have any secrets."  
  
"Are you and Kozume-kun an item?" he asked. Konoha threw his head back and laughed. "Is that a stupid question?" Sugawara looked mortified.  
  
"No, it's not," Tetsurou assured him. "He's only laughing because the entire camp spent a week trying to figure it out. Officially, yes, Kenma and I are dating."  
  
"And unofficially?" Tetsurou saluted Sugawara; he really did have a sharp eye.  
  
"Unofficially, I also really like Akaashi. And Bokuto. And they both like me, and Kenma, and each other." Tetsurou shrugged. "We never really stopped to put a label on it or have a long talk about our feelings. It's the end of the world, after all. We didn't have time for that." Sugawara nodded, looking sad.  
  
"What's wrong?" Konoha asked.  
  
Sugawara smiled sheepishly. "I was hoping that Kuroo-san liked Tsukishima as much as it seemed over the summer," he said. "I thought that maybe he could help him."  
  
"I fully intend to help him," Tetsurou insisted. "But I'm not what he needs right now, not like that." Sugawara grinned.  
  
"That's good to hear," Sugawara said. Something in his voice made Tetsurou feel like he had just taken some sort of test. He and Konoha exchanged worried looks as he continued his work, humming softly to himself.  
  
“You’re kind of a scary guy, Sugawara, you know that?” Konoha commented. Sugawara laughed.  
  
“Yeah, I get that a lot,” he said. Their laughter was cut off by a commotion somewhere in the building. Tetsurou dropped what he was doing and bolted out of the kitchen, ducking into the room he had slept in only long enough to grab his rifle. He jogged down to the balcony surrounding the top of the entrance hall where a crowd was gathered, lifting the rifle to his shoulder.  
  
“Everyone, SHUT UP!” he bellowed. Dozens of eyes swiveled to face him, including seven or eight unfamiliar ones. “Akaashi,” he said softly. “Report.”  
  
“Seven refugees breeched the perimeter,” Akaashi told him. “They claim not to be infected.”  
  
“How did you get around our defenses?” Tetsurou asked. A vaguely familiar boy stepped forward with his hands raised slightly, staring straight at Tetsurou.  
  
“We’ve been watching you for the past three days,” he said. “We hid in some bushes until your guards changed and were distracted by each other. Didn’t know you had a secondary guard inside.” He nodded toward Akaashi.  
  
“Great. I’ll be sure to fix that,” Tetsurou grumbled. “Now who are you.”  
  
“They’re Aoba Jousai,” Sawamura told him. The boy nodded.  
  
“I’m Oikawa Tooru, and these are my teammates,” he said. “We saw you bring in Karasuno yesterday, so we figured you might be willing to take us too. One of ours is injured.” He stared straight at Tetsurou, undaunted.  
  
“Yaku,” Tetsurou called. The libero stepped forward and looked up at him. “Take their injured up to City Planning and see what you can do. Have Lev help you if you need.” Yaku nodded and Oikawa’s shoulders slumped in relief. He nodded to his teammates, who passed off a limping boy into Lev’s arms. “I want all the captains and vice captains to meet me in the big office,” Tetsurou continued. “Oikawa, if you have a second in command, bring him. The rest of your team will go with Yamamoto, who will see that they’re fed and watched. Is that agreed?” Akaashi and Oikawa both nodded. The group grumbled slightly, but no one voiced any concerns. Tetsurou lowered his rifle and turned away from the balcony.


	3. Chapter 3

Iwaizumi’s hand was warm on the small of Tooru’s back, pressing him forward. He took a deep breath as he followed Akaashi up the stairs, sure he couldn’t do this without Iwaizumi beside him.  
  
“It’ll be okay, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi whispered.  
  
“Iwa-chan, I’m touched,” crooned Tooru. “You really do care about me.” Iwaizumi didn’t react, didn’t threaten him or even roll his eyes. His hand pressed a little more firmly, steeling Tooru’s nerves.  
  
Akaashi led him into a large office with a massive desk and a couch shoved to one wall. There was a paper divider separating the desk area from a large conference table. This was where Akaashi led them, pointing then to a pair of chairs at one end of the table. One by one and in pairs the other eight captains filed in and took their seats around the table’s other end, Kuroo and Akaashi at the head.  
  
“Alright,” Akaashi said in his calm voice. “Let’s start from the beginning. Who are you, and how did you find us here?”  
  
“We’re what’s left of the Aoba Jousai volleyball club,” Iwaizumi said. “I’m Iwaizumi Hajime, and this is captain Oikawa Tooru. Sawamura can vouch for that much.” Akaashi and the others all turned to look at Karasuno’s captain, who simply nodded. “Three weeks ago we were having an impromptu practice in the park near the school, us and one other team member. Two neighborhood girls attacked us, and one bit Kunimi. He turned later that night. The rest of us left as quickly as we could, in Oikawa’s mom’s van. We heard on the radio that there were refugee camps organizing an evacuation in Tokyo, so we came here.”  
  
“We got to town on the second day, but it was already overrun,” Tooru picked up. “We’ve been wandering ever since, camping at night and keeping on the move during the day. We happened to see Owl-san coming home with some supplies, so we hid nearby. We’ve been watching your front door since then. When we saw you take in Karasuno yesterday we decided it was worth the risk.” Tooru’s throat ran dry. “Kindaichi’s arm is infected, and we have no medical supplies. We thought that if we could prove to you that we mean no harm, we could get treatment for him.”  
  
“We’ll work,” Iwaizumi offered. “We’re not asking for free sanctuary. We’ll pull our weight until you decide we’ve paid our debt, and then we’ll be on our way.”  
  
The table was silent. Then, Kuroo leaned back in his chair, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.  
  
“We have the space,” he said. “It’s the supplies I’m worried about. Food we can gather easily enough, but we’re running low on fresh water, among other things.” He looked around the table. “We can make it work, if everyone agrees. The four of you are new, so I’ll explain. Everything is put to a vote here. Major decisions, like taking in new refugees or moving camp, require a unanimous decision.” He glanced at Akaashi, who nodded.  
  
“We won’t deny your teammate whatever help we can give him,” he said. “But we have to decide if we can handle all of you at once.”  
  
“We’re not leaving him,” Iwaizumi said, standing. Tooru watched the calm expression on Iwaizumi’s face and placed a hand on his elbow.  
  
“It’s fine, Iwa-chan,” he said. “We’re at their mercy, after all. It’s their base.” Iwaizumi sat back down with a huff, and Tooru could feel the agitation coming off of him in waves. Akaashi nodded again.  
  
“Alright,” he said. “Let’s vote.”  
  
  
  
Morisuke winced at the sight of the red, shiny skin laid out in front of him. The cut itself was small, but deep and high up on Kindaichi’s forearm. The surrounding flesh was tight and inflamed, and Morisuke was certain he didn’t have the expertise to deal with this. He glanced at Lev, who had a more serious expression on his face than Morisuke had ever seen on the boy.  
  
“Lev, bring me the vodka that Sawamura brought in yesterday.” The boy’s face paled, but he complied without comment. Morisuke sighed. “Kindaichi-kun,” he said softly, coming to stand by the boy. “Lev’s going to bring a bottle, and I need you to drink the whole thing. Can you do that for me?” Kindaichi looked up at him foggily. Morisuke reached out a hand and stroked it through the boy’s hair. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know what else to do,” he murmured. Kindaichi furrowed his brow, then broke into such a dazzling smile that it broke Morisuke’s heart.  
  
“That’s okay,” he said, his words already slurred. “’M sure it’ll be fine.” Morisuke forced himself to smile in return.  
  
“That’s right,” he said. Lev returned then with the bottle. “Hold down his shoulders, Lev,” Morisuke commanded. He unscrewed the lid and, checking that Lev was in place, upended the bottle over the infection sight. Kindaichi stiffened and let out a whimper, but didn’t fight them. Morisuke sighed again. He held the now half-empty bottle to Kindaichi’s lips, tipping it back slowly. Kindaichi sputtered and choked against the burn, but Morisuke kept pouring. Eventually, Kindaichi’s eyes closed and he began to drink on his own.  
  
“Now what?” Lev asked when Morisuke pulled the bottle away.  
  
“It’ll take twenty minutes for it to kick in,” Morisuke told him. “And then we have to cut it off.”  
  
“Can we do that?” Lev asked. Morisuke nodded.  
  
“Yeah, cutting it off will be no problem,” he said. “It’ll be keeping him alive after that’ll give us trouble. People don’t usually survive field amputations by professionals, and I only know what my mom taught me. I can break a fever and set a bone, but this is more than I can handle, Lev.” Lev gave him a weak smile and settled a massive hand on top of his head.  
  
“I’m sure it’ll be okay, Yaku-san,” he said. Morisuke’s heart clenched at the parallel, and he nodded.  
  
“I hope so, Lev,” he said. He looked at Kindaichi, who was passed out. “Alright, let’s get this over with,” he said. “I need the saw.”  
  
  
  
Keiji slumped against Kuroo’s side with a groan. Bokuto was getting Oikawa and his team set up in one of the main departments and the other captains had returned to their duties, leaving the two of them alone.  
  
“Who decided we were in charge again?” he asked wearily. Kuroo huffed out a humorless laugh.  
  
“We did,” he said.  
  
“Why the fuck did we do that?” Keiji muttered.  
  
“We’re masochists,” he said. “Look at the way we put up with Bokuto.” Despite himself, a fond smile spread across Keiji’s face. He sighed and nuzzled a little closer to Kuroo.  
  
“He’s really worried about Tsukishima,” he said. “I wish I knew how to help him.”  
  
“I know you do,” Kuroo said, wrapping an arm around Keiji’s shoulder. “We just need to be there for him. For both of them.” Keiji snorted.  
  
“Since when were you the voice of reason?” he muttered. Kuroo laughed at that, leaning his cheek on top of Keiji’s head.  
  
“I’ve always been this wise,” he said. Keiji elbowed him in the rib. He was quiet for a moment. “Sugawara asked me my intentions with Tsukki,” he said at length.  
  
“What’d you tell him?”  
  
“The truth,” Kuroo answered. “I told him that even if I wanted to, it wouldn’t be right for me to pursue him. Not now, anyway.”  
  
“And what did he say to that?” Keiji asked, a smile tugging at his lips.  
  
“He said that was good to hear.” Kuroo sounded puzzled and vaguely afraid. “It sounded like he was plotting to kill me if I didn’t say that.”  
  
“He probably was,” Keiji said. “There’s a reason Karasuno’s all afraid of him.” Kuroo chuckled and held Keiji a little tighter.  
  
“You know,” he said, his voice quiet, “I’m really glad you’re here, Akaashi. I couldn’t do any of this without you.”  
  
“You could,” Keiji answered.  
  
“Maybe, but not as well.” Kuroo paused. “I wouldn’t be okay, even if they were.”    
  
“You would have had Kenma,” Keiji pointed out.  
  
“I know,” Kuroo said. “And I’m grateful that I do, don’t get me wrong. But Kenma’s and my relationship has always been me taking care of him. I’ve never had anyone taking care of me before. It’s nice.”  
  
“Nice,” Keiji said with a laugh. “The world is ending, our friends are dead, but hey. It’s nice.” Kuroo nudged him playfully.  
  
“See?” he exclaimed. “Who else could I get to trade gallows humor with me?”  
  
“Oh, is that all I’m good for?” Kuroo made a show of looking Keiji up and down.  
  
“Well,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows, “it’s not the only thing.” Keiji shoved him, smiling.  
  
“Come on,” he said at last. “We should go check on the others.”  
  
  
  
Yamaguchi was smiling. There was a gentle breeze blowing through his hair, making him squint and giggle.  
  
Yamaguchi was dead.  
  
Yamaguchi was humming under his breath while they did homework in Kei’s bedroom.  
  
Yamaguchi was gone.  
  
Yamaguchi was holding his hand, blushing scarlet while Kei kissed each and every freckle he could find.  
  
Yamaguchi was never coming back.  
  
Kei felt sick. He was curled in a ball in the corner of a dark office somewhere in the building - he wasn’t sure where. He shook his head, clutching at his shoulders as he rocked back and forth, wishing he could cry, wishing he could scream. The air around him was cold, and the floor was solid, but he could feel neither of them. All he knew was terror and the sound of Yamaguchi screaming, the sound of Yamaguchi laughing, the sound of Yamaguchi calling Kei’s name. He could feel Daichi’s arms wrapped around him like a vice, like a straight jacket as he watched, helpless, as Yamaguchi started dancing, started sobbing, started clawing at his own flesh.  
  
The door opened and Kuroo walked in, and Kuroo’s mouth moved, and Kuroo’s mouth swore, and Kuroo’s arms wrapped around Kei, and Kuroo’s body started to rock them gently. Kei was on a ship at sea, the ocean turning his stomach, ready to pull him down, down, down where Yamaguchi was waiting with white skin and lifeless eyes.  
  
“Kei, baby, it’s okay,” Kuroo’s voice whispered. “It’s okay, you’re safe. Baby, I need you to look at me, okay? Can you do that? Kei, can you try?” Kuroo’s hands were cupping his cheeks, directing his face toward Kuroo’s. Kei’s awareness swirled around Kuro like waves breaking against a rock. Kuroo clutched him tight to his chest.  
  
Warm.  
  
Kuroo was warm.  
  
Kei could feel Kuroo’s heart beating against his cheek, could hear his breathing, much faster than it should have bee, but undeniably there. Kei took a shuddering breath and his arms moved to wrap around Kuroo. It hurt. Kuroo was clutching him tight, crushing him in his arms, but it was real. Kei felt a tear trail down his cheek and he closed his eyes.  
  
Slowly, his body relaxed and he slumped against Kuroo. After a moment he heard Kuroo talking again, and this time he could make out the words.  
  
“-and they all came flocking to Kenma, like he had some sort of cat magnet in his pocket. Of course, the team was pissed. The one person who didn’t really care either way if the cats liked him, so of course that’s the one they would love. I thought Lev would never forgive him.” Kuroo was babbling, stroking Kei’s hair and talking as though they had all the time in the world. As though they were at a normal training camp and they could afford to have a normal conversation. As though everything was okay. Kei pulled his arm out from under Kuroo’s and slid it up his body, cupping Kuroo’s cheek with his hand. Kuroo cut off, looking at him with eyes that couldn’t quite hide their worry.  
  
“Kei?” he asked. “Are you with me?” Kei nodded, and Kuroo slumped. “Thank God,” Kuroo whispered. “I thought- Nevermind. It’s okay now.” Kei shook his head and leaned his forehead against Kuroo’s collar bone. Kuroo made a soft noise and sat back, pulling Kei into his lap.  
  
“I need you to do me a favor, Kei,” he said softly. Kei nodded to show he was listening. “I know it isn’t easy, but I need you to try and trust me. That’s all. I don’t need you to talk to me if you’re not ready, I don’t need you to save the world or even work in the camp. Just trust that you are always safe with me.” Kuroo leaned back so he could look Kei in the eye. “Can you do that?”  
  
Kei didn’t want to. He didn’t want to be okay again, didn’t want to do that to Yamaguchi. Didn’t want to forget, didn’t want to remember, didn’t want to exist. But there was so much pain in Kuroo’s eyes, just like there had been in Yamaguchi’s when they were younger and Kei was closing himself off from the world for the first time.  
  
So Kei nodded.  
  
Kuroo gave a relieved sigh and huddled him closer again. “Do you want me to keep talking?” he asked. Kei nodded.  
  
If there was one thing Kuroo could do it was talk. He told Kei about his team, about their antics and their petty dramas. He told him about his childhood with Kenma and double dates with Bokuto and Akaashi. He told him about the sunsets at his great aunt’s farm in Kyoto. Kei closed his eyes and listened, letting himself get lost in the pictures Kuroo painted for him.  
  
When at last Kuroo ran out of things to say, Kei opened his eyes and sat a little straighter. Kuroo watched him, obviously concerned and obviously trying to hid it. Kei gave him a small smile, and he grinned in return.  
  
“You don’t have to, but do you think you’re feeling up to dinner with the group?” he asked. “A few more people arrived, so most of the attention will be on them.” Kei nodded and climbed out of Kuroo’s lap. Kuroo smiled up at him as he stood, then held out his hand in offering. Kei considered, then took it, lacing their fingers together.  
  
The mess hall where Kuroo brought him was much quieter than Kei would have expected. It may have been the shape of the room, because there were too many people talking for it to be the volume of the people, especially when those people included Bokuto, Hinata, Nishinoya, and Tanaka. Most of the group was clumped at one end of the hall, so Kuroo led him to the other. He sat him down next to Kenma with a gentle hand to his shoulder and a murmured promise to return with food.  
  
Kenma took one look at Kei and leaned against his shoulder. It was surprising, coming from a boy who had never gone out of his way to touch anyone before, but in a way it made sense. Kenma had never been the most verbal of people, after all. The gesture was comforting, and Kei leaned into it gladly. It wasn’t long before they were joined by Akaashi, who sat on Kei’s other side without a word. Kuroo returned with Bokuto, and the five of them sat in a rough circle, eating in silence.  
  
It was nice, but Kei missed the way they used to talk and roughhouse their way through meals. He missed the way he and Akaashi would exchange sarcastic comments and Kenma would snort. He missed sending disapproving glances toward Kuroo and Bokuto to cover up the fact that he was laughing.  
  
Kei missed a lot of things.  
  
Suddenly the stew in his bowl didn’t seem all that appetizing anymore. He set it down carefully in front of him and leaned back against the wall with his eyes closed.  
  
“Kei,” Akaashi said softly. Kei opened one eye to look at him. “Thank you.” Kei furrowed his brow and opened the other eye to look at Akaashi fully. “For coming down to eat with us,” he explained. “We’ve missed you.” Kei looked down at his lap, fighting a blush.  Kuroo and Bokuto both nodded enthusiastically while Kenma leaned a little more into his arm.  
  
“Thank you,” Kei whispered, wincing at how raw his voice sounded.  
  
Kuroo and Akaashi were staring at him with glimmering eyes and proud smiles, while Bokuto fidgeted in his seat. He kept glancing up at Kei and then back at the ground, wringing his hands together or tapping on his knees. Kei laughed, more an exhalation of air through his nose than anything else, but it got Bokuto’s attention. He stared up at Kei, who nodded and braced himself.  
  
Bokuto launched himself at Kei, landing in a heap with his arms around him - and partly around Kenma. Bokuto buried his face in Kei’s shoulder and clung tightly to him. Kei laughed again and brought his own arms up around Bokuto’s back. Bokuto laughed, loud and directly into Kei’s ear, and Kei felt at home.


	4. Chapter 4

“Tetsurou, we have a problem,” said Akaashi, coming to stand next to him on the roof.   
  
“What’s up?” Tetsurou asked once he had gotten over the flustered shock from hearing Akaashi call him by his first name. Akaashi gave him a knowing look, then leaned against the railing to watch the street below.  
  
“We’re running out of supplies,” he said. “Fresh water is down to six days, maybe eight if we stretch it. Soap ran out entirely two days ago. We don’t have enough blankets to go around, and, most tragic of all, Bokuto-san is down to his last can of pomade.”  
  
“Oh, well, we can’t have Bokuto’s hair going flat on us,” Tetsurou gasped. “We’re gonna have to fix that immediately. Call out the troops. We’re going hunting!” Akaashi laughed and leaned against Tetsurou’s shoulder.   
  
“Seriously, though, we are going to need water at the very least, and soap is a necessity as well.” Tetsurou snorted and Akaashi bumped him with his hip. “You know what I mean,” he said. “Regardless of how we all smell, hygiene is important. If we don’t bathe, the next person to get a cold will end up killing us all.”  
  
“I actually don’t have a joke to make to that,” Tetsurou said. Akaashi gasped.  
  
“I trusted you!” he said. “And to think, I was this close to leaving Bokuto-san and running away into the sunset with you.”  
  
Tetsurou glared down at Akaashi. “I’m gonna need you to cut the sarcasm, Keiji,” he said. Akaashi grinned at him.  
  
“If I did, you wouldn’t know what to do with me.”  
  
“I could think of a thing or two,” Kuroo said, leering and wiggling his eyebrows. Akaashi snorted.  
  
“One of these days I’m going to need you to make good on those threats, Tetsu,” he breathed, trailing a hand up Tetsurou’s arm.  
  
“So- supplies!” Tetsurou shouted, standing ramrod straight. Akaashi laughed, and Tetsurou felt himself relaxing instinctively at the sound. “Seriously, though, I was worried about this. I’m glad we didn’t turn Oikawa away, but we’re over capacity.”  
  
“’Over capacity’,” Akaashi repeated. “When did we become adults who use words like that?” He sighed and looked out over the city. “We’re going to have to move. There’s nothing for it.”  
  
“I think you’re right,” Tetsurou agreed. “We’ll have a captains meeting after dinner and put it to a vote.”  
  
“Speaking of captains meetings,” Akaashi said, “Karasuno brought two adults with them, but I haven’t seen either of them in a single meeting.”  
  
“Yeah, I wondered about that,” Tetsurou said. “D’you think you could ask Sugawara about that?” Akaashi nodded, a sly grin growing on his face. “On second thought, no. I’m not sure I want him anywhere near you.”  
  
“Aw, what makes you say that?” Akaashi whined.  
  
“You’re too powerful together. I’ll talk to Sugawara. You go rub dirt on your face or something. Cover up all-” he made a vague gesture at Akaashi’s face. “-that.” Akaashi laughed and shook his head.   
  
“I’ll get right on that.” He pushed himself off the railing and patted Tetsurou on the shoulder. “Hang in there, Kuroo-san.”  
  
  
  
Tetsurou came downstairs at the end of his shift to find Kenma sitting under a stairway with Inuoka and Hinata, chatting happily. Something about the image made Tetsurou’s heart clench. Only a few months ago they were sitting in the same little clump. Now, however, there were bruises on Hinata’s face and a haunted light in Kenma’s eyes and Inuoka kept trailing off and looking at the floor in silence. Tetsurou swallowed around the lump in his throat and moved on into the main sleeping room.  
  
Bokuto was taking a nap, snoring in a pile of tangled limbs that included Oikawa, Nishinoya, Lev, and some small person that Tetsurou couldn’t quite make out. He smiled fondly as he knelt next to Bokuto’s head, stroking through his hair.  
  
“You know, you don’t look horrible with it down,” he said. Bokuto’s nose scrunched and he mumbled something in his sleep. Tetsurou stilled. When it seemed Bokuto wouldn’t wake he continued his stroking.  
  
“Kuroo?” A familiar, muffled voice called out from the pile.  
  
“You okay under there, Yaku?” he asked. Yaku’s head popped up from between Lev’s elbow and Nishinoya’s hip.   
  
“That better not have been a comment about my size,” he growled.  
  
“Of course not,” answered Tetsurou. “It was a comment on Lev’s. I wouldn’t want to sleep under him.” Yaku grinned and began untangling himself from the pile. He came to sit cross-legged next to Tetsurou, leaning against him for warmth.   
  
“He’s actually lighter than he looks,” Yaku said, gesturing with his chin toward Lev. “And warm.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, your boyfriend’s the perfect blanket, we get it,” Tetsurou teased. Yaku’s face went cold.  
  
“He’s not my boyfriend,” he muttered.  
  
“He should be.”  
  
“He shouldn’t.”  
  
“You want him to be.”  
  
“I don’t.”  
  
“He wants to be.”  
  
“I know.” Yaku sighed, looking down at his hands clasped in his lap. “But I can’t do that to him.”  
  
“Yaku, you’ve got to forgive yourself for that,” Tetsurou scolded. “So you broke one girl’s heart. Doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be happy with someone else.”  
  
“But I’ll just do the same thing to him,” Yaku protested. “Face it, I’m a horrible partner. And Lev’s so young. He’s got enough to get through without me throwing my baggage into the mix.” Tetsurou rolled his eyes.  
  
“If you say so,” he said.   
  
“Well, what about you?” Yaku demanded.   
  
“What about me?” Tetsurou asked. Yaku looked pointedly at Bokuto’s head in his lap. “What? I’ve already made my move, on all three of them.”  
  
“Right. All I’m saying is that you need to sort out your own love life before you butt into mine,” Yaku told him. “Though, I am pretty proud of the way you’re handling Tsukishima.”  
  
“Why is everyone commenting on that?” Tetsurou groaned. “Do you all really think I’m such a pig that I’d swoop in and seduce him less than a month after his boyfriend died?”  
  
“No,” Yaku said, his voice pensive. “We just all really think you like him. A lot. And let’s face it, you aren’t exactly the most monogamous person in the camp right now.” Tetsurou chuckled.  
  
“You’ve got me there,” he admitted, looking down at Bokuto. He knew he was making some disgustingly fond face, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Yaku made a retching noise and Tetsurou elbowed him good-naturedly.  “Don’t you have work to do?” he asked.  
  
“Nah,” Yaku yawned. “No one’s hurt themselves in at least two hours. I’m free.”  
  
“Speaking of, how’s your patient?” Yaku made a face.  
  
“I don’t think he’s going to bleed out, so that’s a good thing,” he answered. “He woke up for a while yesterday, long enough to talk to his captain. I’m keeping him as sedated as possible, but I’m worried about what it’ll do to his system.” His voice grew quiet and he looked down at the floor. “I’m not cut out for this, Kuroo.”  
  
“I know, Yaku,” Tetsurou sighed. “I wish I didn’t have to ask it of you.” Yaku shrugged.   
  
“I’m the only one here with any first aid training,” he said. “You’d all be lost without me.”  
  
“You got that right,” Tetsurou said. “Thank you, by the way.”  
  
“For what?”  
  
“For not poisoning us all,” Tetsurou answered, grinning. “I know you’ve been tempted.”  
  
“Once or twice,” Yaku agreed. “But if I killed all of you, who would reach the things on high shelves?” Tetsurou let out a surprised laugh, jerking Bokuto awake with the movement.  
  
“Wha’sgoinon-” Bokuto slurred, looking around wildly. Yaku threw his head back and laugh while Tetsurou put a hand on Bokuto’s shoulder to calm him down.  
  
“Chill, bro, it’s just me,” he said. “Sorry to wake you. Yaku made a short joke.” Bokuto narrowed his eyes.  
  
“I thought we weren’t supposed to make short jokes around Yaku, or he’d poison us all,” he said. Yaku laughed harder at that.  
  
“Only he gets to do it,” Tetsurou said.  
  
“How is that fair?” Bokuto asked. Tetsurou shrugged.  
  
“How is any of this fair?” he asked. “I get all the best-looking boyfriends, the setters are all way too pretty, we’re in the middle of a fucking zombie apocalypse, and my hair looks awesome while you’re almost out of gel.” Bokuto glared up at him. “By the way, we’re having a captains meeting after dinner,” he said.  
  
“Virgin sacrifice?” Bokuto asked, sounding much too excited about the idea.  
  
“No, but if we ever do reach that point, I’ll be sure to nominate you.”  Bokuto looked like he was about to protest, but upon further reflection shrugged and nodded.  
  
“And on that note,” Yaku chirped, slapping his thighs and clambering to his feet, “I’ve got a patient to go check on. Try not to do anything stupid.” He walked away, leaving the room silent but for the sound of breathing and the occasional snore. Tetsurou let out a heavy breath and rubbed the back of his neck.  
  
“Hey,” Bokuto said, holding his arms out. “Come on, you need to relax once in a while.” Tetsurou opened his mouth to reply, but Bokuto cut him off with a stern look. “Tetsurou,” he warned. Tetsurou huffed and scooted forward until he could weave his legs through Oikawa’s and settle his head on Bokuto’s shoulder.  
  
“I wasn’t a cuddler before all this, you know,” he grumbled.  
  
“You would have been,” Bokuto replied. “I would have converted you.”  
  
“I’m only here because it’s cold,” Tetsurou insisted.  
  
“Whatever you say.” Bokuto was quiet for a minute, nosing along Tetsurou’s hairline.  
  
“Figures it’d take the end of the world to end up here,” he murmured.  
  
“What makes you say that?” Tetsurou asked. Bokuto shrugged.  
  
“Akaashi always said that he was fine with it, or that he would be eventually, but I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable,” he said.  
  
“Bro, what are you talking about?” Tetsurou insisted.  
  
“I’m talking about us, man,” Bokuto answered. “Me ‘n’ you ‘n’ Akaashi ‘n’ Kenma. Tsukki too, if he ever wants to. I wanted it, before, but Akaashi wasn’t sold on the idea. He said he’d go with it for me, but I wasn’t gonna do that, you know? And then there’s Kenma, and he really doesn’t like me too much, but he does like Akaashi, and he loves you.”   
  
“Bokuto, Kenma likes you,” Tetsurou said. Bokuto shrugged again.  
  
“Maybe,” he said. “But he wouldn’t have been okay with all this before. I don’t want to do this if anyone isn’t okay.”  
  
Tetsurou smiled. He wrapped an arm around Bokuto’s waist and nuzzled his face into the joint of his neck and shoulder. “You’re a good guy, Kouta,” he whispered. Bokuto didn’t answer, but after a moment his breathing deepened and slowed. Tetsurou closed his eyes and let the movement and the sound of Bokuto’s heart lull him to sleep.  
  
  
  
“This isn’t just a question of finding new supplies,” Sawamura argued. “This building is vulnerable. We need somewhere we can defend more easily.”  
  
“This building is what saved your hide,” snapped the Shinzen vice captain, a thin boy with thick black bangs and a perpetually unimpressed expression. “We didn’t have to take you in, you know. If Kuroo wasn’t so soft-hearted you would all be dead now, or worse.”  
  
“Be that as it may,” Akaashi called, drawing everyone’s attention, “Sawamura-san is correct. What we need is a defensible base with ready access to food, and fresh water. We have plenty of food here, but water is running low. Even without the additions of the Karasuno and Aoba Jousai teams, we would have run out eventually.” He leaned forward, and his voice grew a deadly edge. “Anyone who has a problem with the numbers here is free to leave. Otherwise, I suggest we all try to think of a solution that works best for _everyone_.” He glared at each captain in turn. A shiver ran down Tetsurou’s spine and he sat a little straighter.  
  
“We should send out scouting groups,” Iwaizumi said softly. “Two-to-four man groups, out at dawn back by dusk. That’s our best chance to find someplace soon.”  
  
Tetsurou nodded. “That’s what I’ve been thinking,” he said. “But this is a big decision. We need to hear what everyone thinks about it.”  
  
“Why don’t we just split up?” asked Shinzen’s captain.  
  
“Because we want to stay alive?” said Bokuto. “Splitting up is a death sentence.” Tetsurou raised an eyebrow, surprised.   
  
“I would’ve thought you’d be for the idea, Bo,” he said. Bokuto shook his head.  
  
“Hell no,” he said. “I know exactly how far I’d get without you and Akaashi, not to mention everyone else. I’d be dead by nightfall.” He turned to the group, his face serious. “If anyone really wants to leave, we’ve got no right to stop them. But I think it’s best if we stay together.”  
  
“There are plenty of places in Tokyo big enough for all of us,” Kai added. “It shouldn’t be too hard to find somewhere that has everything we need.” Kai glanced at Tetsurou as if for confirmation, then continued, “Saitama alone has plenty of hospitals and government buildings. We shouldn’t have to go far.”  
  
“The fact is, we need to leave,” Tetsurou said. “I’m calling for a vote. I think,” he glanced at Akaashi, “sending out scouts is small enough to warrant a majority decision. If and when we find a potential new base, the actual move with be unanimous. Agreed?” No one responded, and a few people nodded. Tetsurou took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. “Alright. Those in favor?”  
  
  
  
“No.”  
  
“Tsukishima, we have to-”  
  
“No, you’re not going.”  
  
“I’m the one who suggested it, I have to-”  
  
“No.”  
  
Tetsurou watched Tsukishima pace back and forth, running his hands through his hair. “Tsukishima,” he said softly. “I can’t be that kind of leader. I can’t send people out there without putting my own neck on the line.” Tsukishima stopped, standing stock still with tension and anger coming off of him in waves. Tetsurou walked up behind him, slowly and loudly to give Tsukishima a chance to move. He wrapped his arms around Tsukishima’s waist and leaned his forehead between Tsukishima’s forehead. “I don’t understand why this has you so upset,” Tetsurou whispered. “My life isn’t worth-”  
  
Tsukishima whirled around and slapped him. Tetsurou touched the stinging cheek, stunned, as he stared up at Tsukishima’s enraged expression. There were tears in Tsukishima’s eyes, and he was trembling. Tetsurou held up a hand.  
  
“My life isn’t worth any more or less than anyone else’s,” he finished. “I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to one of our scouts because I was too cowardly to go with them.” As he watched, the anger drained from Tsukishima’s eyes. His face morphed into a steely mask and the trembling stopped.  
  
“Fine,” he said, his voice flat. “Do what you want.” Tetsurou’s heart sank.  
  
“Kei, please,” he pleaded. “Please, I need you to understand.”  
  
“No,” Tsukishima shouted. “You need me to trust you! That’s what you said! But how can I do that if you’re going to get yourself killed on a whim?” Tetsurou flinched. He wanted to shout back, wanted to dig his heels in and hit Tsukishima the same way he was hitting Tetsurou. But this wasn’t about that. So he took a breath and made sure his voice was even when he spoke.  
  
“This isn’t just some whim,” Tetsurou said. “This is me trying to do right by the people who need me. This is me trying to do right by you.” Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed.  
  
“I don’t need you to take care of me,” he spat. Tetsurou’s vision turned red and he clenched his fists.  
  
“Could’ve fooled me,” he said. As soon as the words were out of his mouth he wanted to take them back. But Tsukishima’s expression was already closed off and he was turning away from Tetsurou, facing the far wall. Tetsurou felt tired then, and very young. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to say that.” Tsukishima didn’t answer. Tetsurou sighed quietly and turned toward the door. “I’ll bring you some dinner,” he offered.  
  
“Don’t bother,” Tsukishima snapped. Tetsurou’s shoulders slumped and he left without another word. He stood for a moment with his back against the door, fighting back tears. He slid down the door until he hit the floor, then pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his head in his arms. He sat absolutely still as the last of the light faded from the windows and the hallway turned bitter cold. He fell asleep.  
  
  
  
“You’re absolutely pathetic, you know?” Tetsurou blinked his eyes open, confused. He was laying of the floor, which was pretty normal, but he wasn’t in any of the main sleeping rooms. He was freezing, with no blanket and no bodies pressed up against his. He looked around, trying to adjust to the dark.  
  
Tsukishima was standing over him with his arms crossed. “Well?” he said, stepping aside. “Are you coming or not?” Tetsurou furrowed his brow and stared at him dumbly. Tsukishima rolled his eyes and grabbed him by the elbow, hauling him to his feet. He dragged Tetsurou inside the room and over to the little pile bed he had made up for himself. He laid down, pillowing his head on his bag, and looked up at Tetsurou expectantly.  
  
“Are you-” Tetsurou began.  
  
“Oh for god’s sake,” Tsukishima groaned. “Get down here before you freeze to death.” Tetsurou closed his mouth with a snap and obeyed, laying a respectable distance from Tsukishima, who rolled his eyes and scooted closer. He threw his blanket over the both of them, wrapped an arm around Tetsurou’s waist, and tucked his head under Tetsurou’s chin.   
  
“Tsukishima, I-”  
  
“Go to sleep, Kuroo,” Tsukishima grumbled. Tetsurou placed an arm tentatively over Tsukishima’s hip and looked at him. His eyes were closed and his glasses were sitting nearby. The moonlight streaming in through the large window painted his face in blues and silvers, and Tetsurou realized that it was already too late for him. He closed his eyes and held Tsukishima a little tighter.


	5. Chapter 5

Kei was warm and comfortable. He was laying on something warm and rather soft, something that wrapped around Kei’s waist and moved with every inhale. He could hear familiar voices talking softly nearby. Someone was playing with his hair.   
  
He breathed deeply and pressed a little closer to Kuroo, nudging his face into the side of Kuroo’s neck.  
  
“Tsukishima?” whispered Akaashi. They were silent for a moment, as though afraid to speak.  
  
“’Sokay,” Kei mumbled. “’M going back to sleep.”   
  
“I wouldn’t,” Akaashi said. “It’s almost two. In the afternoon.” Kei opened his eyes, blinking at the bright sunlight streaming onto his face.  
  
“Why didn’t you wake us up?” he asked, untangling himself from Kuroo and sitting up. He knocked Bokuto’s hand away in the process and almost tipped them both over.  
  
“You both needed the sleep,” Kenma offered. Kei glanced at Kuroo, feeling suddenly guilty. There were bags under his eyes and his face was drawn. His cheeks were less full than they had been.  
  
“He’s not eating enough,” Bokuto told him. “Spends all his time taking care of everyone, and never stops to take care of himself. That’s why it’s good you’re here.” Kei winced, drawing his knees up.  
  
“I’m no help,” he whispered. “I just make things worse.”  
  
“Nah,” Bokuto said, waving a hand in front of them. “I’m the one that makes things worse. You make them worth fixing.” Kei stared at Bokuto, not sure if he should argue. He glanced at Akaashi, who waved a hand lazily.  
  
“He’s joking.” Kei nodded and looked back down at Kuroo. The silence in the room grew awkward, and Kei felt himself suffocating under it.  
  
“I feel so useless,” Kei whispered at last. There was a shuffle, a pause, a questioning glance, and a nod, and Kei found himself bundled into Akaashi’s arms, Bokuto leaning into his shoulder.  
  
“If you think you’re up for it,” Akaashi said, running his fingers through Kei’s hair, “we could see if there’s something for you to do around camp. I know you worked with Karasuno, but we have enough people here that you don’t have to.” Kei shook his head.  
  
“No, I want to help,” he said. Akaashi nodded and stood, bringing Kei with him.  
  
“Well, I’m supposed to go check the snares in the woods,” he said. “Care to join me?” Kei ignored the swell of fear and nodded. Akaashi took Kei’s hand and led him out the door. Kei glanced back to see Kenma crawling over to curl against Kuroo before the door swung shut. He bit the inside of his cheek and turned away, following Akaashi silently.  
  
The conference room where most of the people in the camp slept was filled with chaos when Akaashi and Kei walked in. Several people were clustered in the center of the room where Kei could just see Kageyama glaring up at Oikawa.   
  
“I’d better see what’s happening,” Akaashi said, touching a hand to Kei’s shoulder and moving toward the commotion. Kei nodded and stood where he was, watching as Oikawa reared back, ready to sock Kageyama. His short teammate - Iwaizumi, if Kei remembered right - grabbed his wrist and yanked Oikawa back while Hinata and Tanaka both took hold of Kageyama.  
  
“Oikawa, calm down!” Iwaizumi shouted. Oikawa’s face twisted into an ugly mask of rage and he thrashed against his friend’s hold.  
  
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Oikawa shrieked. “He’s going to get us all killed! If he can’t pull his own weight, I don’t see why the rest of us have to pick up the slack.” Iwaizumi tugged him back harder, this time wrapping his arms around Oikawa’s waist and lifting him bodily. Oikawa thrashed harder, looking like a giant toddler in the middle of a temper tantrum. Kei felt a surge of respect for Iwaizumi’s strength then.  
  
“Shut up!” Iwaizumi yelled. “Calm down and _think_ for once!”  
  
“What’s going on here?” Akaashi asked, his voice loud but no less calm than ever. Asahi stepped forward and spoke with Akaashi in low tones. Akaashi nodded and Asahi, Tanaka, and Hinata left, taking Kageyama with them. “You all have jobs to do,” Akaashi said, and the rest of the group dispersed. Kei watched as he turned at last to Iwaizumi and Oikawa.   
  
_I shouldn’t be here_ , Kei thought to himself as he watched Oikawa bury his face in his hands. Iwaizumi said something to him, reaching out a hand, and while it looked to Kei like he was trying to be gentle Oikawa flinched. In a sudden flurry of motion he ran out of the room.   
  
He was limping.  
  
Iwaizumi started after him, but Akaashi stopped him with a hand to his shoulder. Iwaizumi slumped and nodded, leaving in another direction. Akaashi took a moment to scrub a hand across his eyes, then walked over to where Kei was waiting.  
  
“Sorry,” he said. Kei shook his head.  
  
“Don’t apologize,” he said. “You were just doing your job.” Akaashi smiled, though it looked suspiciously like a grimace.   
  
“My job is actually just to set up the hunting snares,” he said. “Speaking of which, we should go check those before it gets dark. We’ve got about an hour and a half before sunset.” Kei nodded and followed Akaashi over to what might have been a sleeping space, underneath the pile of weapons.   
  
“I like a wide range,” Akaashi said, rubbing the back of his neck. If he didn’t know better, Kei would have thought he was blushing. “Are you any good with any of these?” he asked. Kei looked the pile over, then shook his head.  
  
“I don’t really have any weapons experience,” he said. “Mostly I just swing a big stick and hope it connects.” Akaashi laughed and dug around a bit before pulling out an aluminum baseball bat.  
  
“We’ll have to fix that later,” he said, holding it out. Kei took it, and Akaashi bent again to pull out a large knife for himself and-  
  
“Is that a _crossbow_?” he asked incredulously. Akaashi nodded, opening a leather pouch and counting the bolts inside.  
  
“I’m better with a handgun,” he said, strapping the pouch and bow to his back, “but I like to conserve bullets if I can. These bolts can usually be reused, and it’s easier to kill game without soiling the meat this way.”   
  
“If you say so,” Kei said, eying the crossbow dubiously. Akaashi laughed and took off toward the front lobby.  
  
  
  
Kei followed Akaashi through the brush, all his concentration on moving silently. It would be just his luck to make a wrong step now and get the both of them killed.  
  
Akaashi stopped and bent at the foot of an old, twisted maple. He tugged on a bit of rope tied to the base and came up with a dead red squirrel. He grinned triumphantly at Kei, who made a face. Akaashi grinned wider and stuffed the squirrel into a game bag. He moved on to the next trap and Kei followed silently.  
  
The trees in this part of Tokyo were old and stately. Kei stared up at the bare branches as they walked, trying to remember all the names Akiteru had taught them.  
  
“Kei,” Akaashi hissed. Kei looked down to see him crouching in the roots of a tree, his crossbow in hand. “Get. Down.”   
  
In a daze, Kei turned to follow Akaashi’s gaze.  
  
It was a girl.  
  
Probably twelve years old, her hair in a rats’ nest of a braid, shuffling toward them.  Even from the distance, Kei could hear the soft groaning sound she was making.  
  
  
 _The groaning noise grew louder. Kei turned to see the cashier shuffling toward them, one foot turned out at an odd angle. He nudged Yamaguchi, who looked up as well._  
  
Akaashi was yelling at him, shouting for him to get down, to hide.  
  
 _“Yachi-san, Shimizu-senpai,” Kei said softly. “I think we should go.” Yachi and Kiyoko looked up, confused. Kiyoko caught sight of the cashier and grabbed Yachi’s arm, leading her away slowly. There was a crash across the convenience store. Suga stumbled over a rack of chips, backing up from a pair of women who were moving toward him with the same shuffling gait as the cashier._  
  
 _“Everyone, get back to the bus,” Daichi called. “Calmly.” The team began to file out of the store, everyone moving slowly with their eyes on the shufflers. Kei stepped in something slippery and went down, landing with a crash. The cashier lunged for him, only missing because Yamaguchi tugged him out of the way by his jacket. Kei scrambled to his feet and sprinted for the door, dragging Yamaguchi along behind him. He stumbled over the threshold and lost his grip, turning wildly_.   
  
Kei could see the girl getting closer, but his limbs were frozen and all he could do was watch.  
  
 _Yamaguchi was the last one left in the store. He looked at Kei with wild eyes, then smiled_.  
  
The girl caught sight of Kei, and she started moving faster. Akaashi was swearing from somewhere far, far away.  
  
 _Yamaguchi was the last one left in the store._  
  
 _Yamaguchi smiled._  
  
 _Yamaguchi was the last one left in the store._  
  
The girl was running toward him, dragging one twisted ankle behind her. Akaashi was moving.  
  
 _Yamaguchi was still in the store._  
  
 _Kei stared up at Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi smiled._  
  
 _“Sorry, Tsukki,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”_  
  
Akaashi fired, clipping the girl in the shoulder.  
  
 _Before Kei could say a word he shoved his shoulder into the freezer by the door, knocking it over. He vaulted past the cashier, drawing his attention and the attention of the two women._  
  
 _Yamaguchi smiled._  
  
Akaashi fired again, this time hitting the girl in the chest. She stumbled, but kept coming. Kei could smell the rotting flesh, could see the bloodlust in her eyes.  
  
 _Strong arms wrapped around Kei’s waist, hauling him off of the ground. He thrashed, screaming and kicking and trying to make them understand that Yamaguchi was still in there, that Yamaguchi needed them, but he was ignored. Daichi dragged him onto the bus and slammed the door shut. Takeda drove off. The last thing Kei saw through the back window of the bus was Yamaguchi’s silhouette as he went down._  
  
 _Yamaguchi smiled._  
  
 _Yamaguchi was still in the store._  
  
 _Yamaguchi smiled._  
  
Kei crashed to the forest floor, his arms over his head, trembling.   
  
He could hear the movement around him, could hear Akaashi firing again and yelling, but Kei wasn’t in the forest.   
  
He was at a gas station in Tochigi, watching Yamaguchi smile at him. There were arms around his waist, dragging him away, but they belonged to Daichi. There was a voice shouting, but it was the voices of the team, the sound of Yamaguchi whispering Sorry, Tsukki, I’m so sorry again and again while he smiled, while he smiled at Kei, while he smiled-  
  
  
  
Kei finally stopped sobbing sometime later, huddled in Akaashi’s arms in a small, dark room off the entrance to the camp. For a while, he lay there, not moving, not thinking, barely existing. The entire time, Akaashi stroked his hair and rocked him back and forth gently.  
  
Kei was disgusting.  
  
He closed his eyes and swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat at the thought of melting down like that, in front of _Akaashi_ of all people. Of becoming so utterly useless when he most needed to act.   
  
“I need you to breathe, Kei,” Akaashi murmured. “It’s not your fault. You’re okay, you just need to breathe.” He took Kei’s wrist and guided his hand to rest on the center of his chest, breathing deeply. Kei found himself mirroring the rhythm, closing his eyes. “Good,” Akaashi said.   
  
“I- I’m sorry,” Kei gasped, curling tighter. Akaashi hummed.  
  
“It’s alright,” he said. “No one got hurt. We made it back alright.” Kei shook his head, not sure what he was disagreeing with. Akaashi sighed softly, and when he spoke, his voice was fond but firm. “Kei, panic attacks are not something you can help,” he said. “It wasn’t an ideal circumstance, but it could have been much worse. There was only one, and we were close enough to camp to make it back okay. No one was hurt, and we didn’t even lose any game. It’s fine.”  
  
Kei wanted to believe him. He did. But he couldn’t forget the fact that Akaashi had had to drag him through the forest because he couldn’t walk back on his own. He couldn’t do something as simple as walk around the camp.   
  
“I know what you’re thinking,” Akaashi said, “and you’re not worthless. You’ve helped out plenty since your team came to Tokyo. This was one incident-” He cut off when Kei stood, watching in silence as he left the closet and stormed across the lobby.  
  
  
  
He wasn’t surprised when he was found less than an hour later, but he was surprised to see that Bokuto was the one who found him. He didn’t say anything, just shut the door to the office behind him and sat against the wall directly across from Kei.  
  
The last of the sunlight faded from the windows, plunging the room into darkness, and still Bokuto sat in silence.  
  
Kei could hear the camp going about its business, but Bokuto didn’t move.  
  
Finally, the night turned cold and Kei couldn’t stand it anymore. He huffed and crawled across the room, sitting with his arms crossed and his knees drawn up next to Bokuto. Bokuto put an arm around his shoulder and still said nothing.  
  
“Aren’t you going to lecture me?” Kei snapped. Bokuto shrugged.  
  
“Do you want me to?” he asked, completely serious. “’Cause I could come up with something, I guess…”  
  
“I just had a meltdown in the middle of the woods and then stormed out on Akaashi!” Kei cried.  
  
“Yeah, that was kinda messed up,” Bokuto agreed. “But you didn’t do it on purpose. And you know leaving like that was a dick move, so,” he shrugged again. “I dunno, do you really need a lecture?”  
  
“I could’ve gotten us killed,” Kei whispered.  
  
“Yeah, you could’ve.” Bokuto shuffled around so that he was facing Kei, watching him intently. “I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, Tsukki. Panic attacks are dangerous now. None of us can afford that luxury outside of the camp. But blaming yourself for something you can’t control isn’t going to accomplish anything. It happened, it sucked, and now you move on. Learn from it, see how you can stop it from happening again, and keep going.”  
  
Hearing Bokuto tell him this, a lot of things suddenly made sense for Kei. The way Akaashi had known how to react, had known to calm Kei’s breathing. The way Bokuto rarely went out without him, if he went out at all. The way Akaashi, Kenma, and Kuroo moved around Bokuto not with pity or with mollycoddling, but with care. Kei had known that Bokuto was delicate, but it gave him a strange sense of comfort to know that he wasn’t the only one who flipped out like that. He slumped to the side, landing halfway in Bokuto’s lap. Bokuto chuckled and settled a hand on Kei’s waist.  
  
“I’m not supposed to bring this up,” he said, sounding utterly unrepentant, “but you need to lighten up on Kuroo.” Kei flinched, opening his mouth to defend himself. Nothing came out. Bokuto glanced at him, then kept talking. “He really does want to help you, but he’s got the entire camp to think about too. There are forty two people living here, and he’s kinda in charge.”  
  
“I thought the captains all decided things together,” Kei mumbled.  
  
“We do,” Bokuto answered. “But those leadings are really led by Kuroo. Akaashi too sometimes, but Kuroo’s the one we all listen to. Probably ‘cause he’s the one who saved all our hides when all this started. He’s a natural leader, and Akaashi’s, well, Akaashi, so we just all sorta started following them. And then, of course, Kuroo took that seriously and kinda became Dad, even though we do have two actual adults and he really shouldn’t have to do all this, and I’m rambling I know, but I have a point.”  
  
“And that point is?” Kei prompted, not quite succeeding at keeping the smile out of his voice.  
  
“He’s doing the best he can,” Bokuto answered. “If you ask him to stay in the camp he will, but it’ll break his heart.” Kei shook his head. He couldn’t imagine having that much power over someone.  
  
“That’s ridiculous,” he grumbled.  
  
“That’s Kuroo,” Bokuto answered with a huff. “He’s strange to me, too.”  
  
“Oh, so there really is no hope for him,” Kei deadpanned. Bokuto laughed at that, his whole body shaking with it. Kei rolled his eyes, smiling. His expression fell after a moment. “I’m going to have to apologize to both of them,” he said. Bokuto patted his arm.  
  
“You’ll survive,” he said.  
  
“I don’t know,” Kei answered. “I’ve never apologized to anyone before.” Bokuto snorted.  
  
“Start with Kuroo,” he said. “You don’t respect him as much. It’ll be easier.”  
  
“I respect Kuroo,” Kei protested, horrified that he was actually saying it. Bokuto shook his head.  
  
“Trust me, you respect Akaashi more,” he said. “Everyone does. Come on.” He nudged Kei off of his lap and stretched his legs out. “Better get it over with, before you chicken out.” Kei shot him an offended look and he grinned, scrambling to his feet and darting out the door. Kei chased after him, grinning the whole time.


	6. Chapter 6

Hajime crept through the street, pausing to peer out between a pair of cars. They had skirted a hoard several blocks back, and he was on high alert.  
  
He knew it had been a bad idea to bring Kageyama with him. Between himself and Kuroo and the deadly-looking baldy from Karasuno, he’d figured they would be okay, but now he was regretting risking the boy’s life like that. But he had looked so earnest about helping the camp, and Oikawa’s words had still been ringing in Hajime’s ears, and he had told himself he had no choice.   
  
“How much farther to this university of yours?” he hissed to Kuroo who came to crouch beside him. Hajime’s skin was crawling. He didn’t like the look of those storm clouds, and he very much _did not_ want to be caught away from Oikawa when the rain started, let alone in an unfamiliar part of the city.  Kuroo glanced around at the street signs.  
  
“About two kilometers,” he answered. “We can make it there and back, but if you don’t think we should, call it now. Any farther and we’ll be too close to go back.” Hajime glanced back at where Kageyama was hunched next to Tanaka then nodded.  
  
“Let’s keep going,” he said.   
  
The more they walked, the more the reality of the situation pressed on Hajime. He hadn’t been delusional before; he’d seen Kindaichi feverish from the infection, he’d seen a pair of schoolgirls attack Kyotani, he’d lived like a refugee with the only family he had left for over a month. But as they crept around the side of an abandoned elementary school, Hajime found himself wondering if any of the children who had attended it were still alive. They probably weren’t.   
  
The initial strain had been airborne. It had seemed to affect people at random, and at first scientists called it a flu. Patients had turned pale and sickly, groaning about pain in their abdomens and a deep, abiding hunger. Then as more and more people were affected, it became more obvious that a simple flu had devolved into something out of science fiction.  
  
Hajime’s mother had contracted it early. They had brought her to the hospital, where she had been shuffled off to the quarantine ward. That had been the last time Hajime had seen her.  
  
Soon after those affected had started to lose their minds. Hajime had rolled his eyes at the reports, just _knowing_ that the tales of cannibalism were horribly exaggerated.   
  
Until they had been attacked, that is.  
  
Kyotani had probably saved their lives, now that Hajime thought about it, but at the time he had hated him for running. It must have been pure chance that the girls had run after him rather than the group, and they hadn’t seen him since. He was probably dead too.   
  
Hajime shook himself from his thoughts. The university was coming up on the horizon and Kuroo and Tanaka were both gripping their weapons a little tighter.  
  
“We check the dorms and the university co-op. They’re our best bet for setting up new camps,” Kuroo said. “If they look good we can come back with a bigger group to scout the rest.” Hajime nodded in agreement.  
  
“I’ll take Kageyama to check the dorms,” he said. “The two of you take the co-op.” Kuroo nodded and he and Tanaka moved off to their left. Hajime gestured for Kageyama to follow him and set off toward the dorms.  
  
“How do you know your way around so well?” Kageyama asked as they approached the building. Hajime grimaced.  
  
“Oikawa wanted to go here,” he said. “Or at least, it was on his list. We came up here to check it out together, and I took a map so that I could know his campus.” He bit the inside of his cheek, cursing the heat rising in his cheeks.   
  
Kageyama, however, just nodded. He bit his lip, looking down t his feet.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Hajime prompted.  
  
“Oikawa-san hates me,” Kageyama answered plainly. Hajime stopped short, almost falling flat on his face.  
  
“What the hell makes you think-” Hajime cut himself off, his eyes widening. He sighed and slapped a hand over his eyes. He was going to kill Oikawa. “Trust me, Kageyama, he doesn’t hate you.” Kageyama gave him a strange look, but they reached the door before he could answer. Hajime studied the electronic lock for a moment.   
  
“Well, we can’t get in easily, but neither can they,” he said.   
  
“There’s a window open over there,” Kageyama said, pointing at the side of the building. Hajime clapped him on the shoulder and went to investigate. Sure enough, one of the first floor windows was open, the panel of glass hanging crooked on its tracks. Hajime gripped it and heaved it into place, shooting Kageyama a grin when it slid easily. He drew his knife and threw a leg over the sill.   
  
“C’mon,” he said, turning back to the window. “It’s clear.”  
  
  
  
Kuroo was a pretty cool dude. He and Ryuunosuke had snuck across the campus without a worry, Kuroo moving as silently as… Ryuunosuke hated to say it, but Kuroo moved as silently as a cat. Now he stood by the stairs on the top floor of the university co-op while Kuroo smashed the glass of another vending machine and started stuffing the food inside into a bag.  
  
“Okay,” he said when he had the last of it. “There’s one last place I wanna check out before we go.”  
  
“Is that a good idea?” Ryuunosuke asked. “Kageyama and Iwaizumi will be done in the dorms soon. Shouldn’t we meet up with them?” Kuroo shook his head.  
  
“I need to see the library first,” he answered. “We passed it on the way here. It should only take a couple of minutes.” Ryuunosuke shrugged.  
  
“Alright, I’m game,” he said. “Wha’dyou need there?” The tips of Kuroo’s ears turned red and he looked down sheepishly.  
  
“For now I just wanna make sure it’s mostly intact,” he answered.I was hoping they might have a psychology section. I need a book on PTSD. For, uh, reasons.” Ryuunosuke laughed.  
  
“Hey, man, it’s okay,” he said, clapping Kuroo on the shoulder. “We all know you wanna help Tsukishima. We all do.”  
  
“I thought you two didn’t get along,” Kuroo said, elbowing Ryuunosuke off of him. Ryuunosuke shrugged.  
  
“I mean, yeah, he’s an ass,” he agreed, starting down the stairs. “But he’s still my teammate. And Yamaguchi…” He swallowed hard. “It affected us all, but Tsukishima was closer to him than any of us. They were really happy together, ya know?” Kuroo nodded.  
  
“Hey, you know that I’m not trying to-” he started, then cut off and made a series of vague hand gestures. Ryuunosuke retched and glared at him.  
  
“Dude, don’t ever do all that in reference to my kouhai again,” he scolded.  
  
“Well, but you know tha-”  
  
“Yeah, we know,” Ryuunosuke interrupted. “Trust me, if you had any sort of intentions, Suga-san would’ve eaten you already.” Kuroo stopped in his tracks, turning pale, and Ryuunosuke had to laugh. Kuroo started walking again, but the sick tint never left his face.  
  
Sure enough, the library sat directly on their path back to the dorms. Ryuunosuke pulled out a screwdriver and started forcing the lock while Kuroo stared up at the building. The door swung open and Ryuunosuke turned to grin at Kuroo.   
  
“Twenty minutes,” Kuroo said as they walked in. “I’ll take the top two floors, you take the bottom. Shout if you need me, but don’t hesitate to-”  
  
“Don’t worry,” Ryuunosuke assured him. “If I have to, I am not afraid to leave your ass here.” Kuroo grinned and jogged off toward the stairs. Ryuunosuke stretched his arms out behind him and started wandering through the shelves.  
  
  
  
The scouting party came back laughing. Tooru watched from a doorway tucked off to one side as Iwaizumi walked into the camp with one arm around Kageyama’s shoulders and the other around Tanaka’s. Kageyama had a blush on his cheeks, looking rather dazed. He looked up at Iwaizumi with stars in his eyes. Tooru snorted lightly and turned away, moving back into the makeshift infirmary.  
  
“Iwa-chan just came back,” he told Kindaichi. “You want me to send someone to get him?” Kindaichi shook his head and pulled his legs a little closer to himself.   
  
“He’s probably busy,” he said. Tooru flopped down on the floor next to Kindaichi and leaned his back against the wall.  
  
“He has time for you,” Tooru told him. “He’s worried about you. You haven’t let him see you since we got here.” Kindaichi flinched and curled tighter. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push,” Tooru said.  
  
“It’s fine,” Kindaichi replied. “I know I’m a coward.” Tooru shook his head firmly.  
  
“No you’re not,” he said. “You’ve been through a lot. It’s not cowardly to need time to recover. And I’ll be honest with you, something like that is going to affect the rest of your life.” Kindaichi’s hand crept toward the stump of his other arm, his fingertips skirting around the edge of the bandages.  
  
“What life?” he muttered. “I’m no use like this, Oikawa-san. I’m just going to slow everyone down.”  
  
“Kindaichi-kun, what did I say about self-loathing?” Tooru started and turned to see the libero who had set himself up as camp medic coming through the door, his half-foreign shadow trailing him. He looked at Kindaichi expectantly.  
  
“That it’s cliched and a waste of time,” Kindaichi recited petulantly. Tooru grinned and nudged Kindaichi with his shoulder.  
  
“That’s the spirit!” he crowed. Kindaichi gave him a weak smile and went back to staring at his knees.  
  
“Oh, good, Oikawa, I actually wanted to talk to you,” Yaku said, gesturing him over. “Lev, can you do me a favor and check Kindaichi-kun’s stitches for me?” Tooru stood with one last friendly pat to Kindaichi’s shoulder and followed Yaku to the other side of the room. He settled into the chair that Yaku pointed out for him and watched as Yaku crouched and rolled up Tooru’s pant leg.  
  
“How’s it feeling?” he asked, probing Tooru’s kneecap with his fingers.  
  
“Not so great,” Tooru answered. “It’s okay in the mornings, but I don’t think I can handle any scouting runs or anything.” He lowered his voice, glancing at Kindaichi who was talking with Lev. “I know full well I’m on borrowed time.” Yaku sighed and sat back on his heels.  
  
“I can make sure you’re on light duty,” he said. “Kitchen work and guard postings only, but eventually we’re going to have to make a decision. You’re a captain, so they’ll want you there when the final decision on the new camp is made. And then there’s the move itself.”  
  
“Kuroo’s group went to check out the university nearby,” Tooru said, leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling. “It’s about five kilometers from here.”  
  
“Can you make that?” Yaku asked. Tooru sighed.  
  
“I’m not going to have a choice,” he answered. They both turned to watch Lev crack some joke which involved a length of bandage and a broken chopstick. Kindaichi laughed and Tooru’s chest felt tight at the sound.  
  
“I don’t remember signing up to be mom,” Yaku said, “but here we are.” Tooru snorted.  
  
“Here we are,” he agreed.  
  
“Speaking of,” Yaku said as he stood and started rooting around in a bag. “What’s up with you and Iwaizumi? I heard the two of you got in a pretty little spat yesterday.” He turned back with a long bandage in his hand. Tooru made a face.  
  
“I don’t really think that’s any of your business,” he growled. Yaku grinned at him and started winding the bandage around Tooru’s knee.  
  
“It’s not,” Yaku agreed. “But since I’m in charge of keeping all of you idiots from hurting yourselves too badly, I just want to make sure I’m not going to be setting any broken noses.” He tied the bandage off and patted Tooru’s thigh. “You’re done,” he said. “Don’t overdo it today and make sure you tell Akaashi what I said about light duty. And Oikawa?” Tooru grunted, looking down at him. “Find someone you can talk to. Don’t let this thing with Iwaizumi fester.”  
  
“Yes, Mom,” Tooru quipped, heaving himself to his feet. He waved at Kindaichi and left the infirmary.  
  
  
  
“Kenma-san! Tell him to stop cheating!” Kenma smiled fondly as Inuoka and Hinata ran past, the latter throwing balls of paper at the former. Inuoka turned suddenly and tackled Hinata to the ground, both of them shrieking with laughter as they went down. Kenma watched them play for a while before a roll of thunder shook the camp. Kenma frowned and stood from his perch on the desk, hooking his bag over his shoulder.  
  
“I’m going to go check on Bokuto,” he said. Inuoka gave him a thumbs-up and Hinata gave him a questioning look. He waved them both off and padded out to the lobby.  
  
It took a while of searching before he found Bokuto with Kuroo and Akaashi in the big conference room. He was curled against Kuroo’s side, but he was talking and didn’t seem to be trembling like during some of his worse nights. Kenma stepped forward to grab Akaashi’s attention, looking pointedly at Bokuto. Akaashi waved to him and he nodded, walking back out.  
  
He was about to return to the office where he had left Inuoka and Hinata when he heard a small, pained noise coming from a door to his left. Curious, he pushed the door open just as a flash of lightning outside the window behind him illuminated the hall.  
  
The captain from Aoba Jousai was huddled in the very back of the janitor’s closet. He flinched when the door opened, and harder when the window rattled with the sound of thunder. Kenma acted on instinct, stepping into the closet and shutting the door firmly. He dug around in his bag until his fingers brushed a plastic cylinder. He prayed that Kuroo hadn’t stolen his batteries again and fished it out.   
  
“I have a flashlight,” he said. “I’m turning it on now.” Without waiting for an answer, he clicked the button on the side and a broad beam lit up the room. He took a roll of toilet paper off of the shelf and set it on the floor, slipping the handle into the tube so that it stood on its base, dimly illuminating the entire closet. Kenma crossed the closet to sit next to the huddled boy, pressing against his side. For a moment, they were both quiet. Then,  
  
“Why are you doing this?” the boy whispered.  
  
“You’re Oikawa, right?” Kenma asked rather than answering him. The boy nodded and Kenma shrugged. “Bokuto has a problem with storms, too,” he said. “I figure you’ve got enough on your plate without having to deal with this on your own.”  
  
“I usually don’t,” Oikawa answered. “But-”  
  
“But you and your friend are fighting,” Kenma finished for him. Oikawa nodded again. “You won’t be for long.”  
  
“How can you know that?” Oikawa asked, his voice desperate.  
  
“Because,” Kenma said with another shrug. “You’ve already been through a lot together. I don’t see either of you letting this keep you apart forever.”  
  
“You don’t even know us,” Oikawa protested.  
  
“Don’t have to,” Kenma replied. “I know what I’ve seen, and what I’ve heard from Shouyou.”  
  
“Shrimpy talks about us?” Oikawa laughed. Kenma smiled to himself.  
  
“Shouyou talks about everyone,” he said.   
  
“Funny,” Oikawa commented.  
  
“What is?”  
  
“You just don’t seem like the kind of person who would get along with someone so… intense,” Oikawa answered. Kenma smiled wider.  
  
“I’m actually pretty friendly,” he answered. “I’ve spent my whole life around Kuro, after all. I just don’t know how to talk to people.”  
  
“You seem to be doing just fine,” Oikawa said.   
  
“I’m absolutely terrified right now,” Kenma admitted.  
  
“Why?” Oikawa sounded genuinely confused, and he hadn’t reacted to the last two rolls of thunder, so Kenma decided to humor him.  
  
“Because you’re hard to read,” Kenma explained. “I’ve spent a lot of time watching people, but you’ve got the fakest smile I’ve ever seen.”  
  
“I’m choosing to believe that’s a compliment,” Oikawa grumbled. Kenma rolled his eyes.  
  
“It’s an observation,” he said. “I haven’t been around enough to know what your real smile looks like, but I do know that you’re much stronger than you think you are, you’re terrified of letting your team down, and you are afraid of relying too much on your vice. And that you’re trying to hide something, probably the state of your knee. And that you have actually actually carried that hairbrush everywhere with you and that’s why you still have it.”  
  
“How on earth-”  
  
“Sorry,” Kenma said, hugging his knees to his chest. “You’ll get used to me.”  
  
“I hope so,” Oikawa replied. “Would you… Would you talk to me some more?”  
  
“On one condition,” Kenma said. Oikawa looked up at him questioningly. “Play with my hair while I do.” Oikawa laughed and nodded, pulling the brush out of his bag.  
  
“Okay, come here,” he said. Kenma shuffled on his knees until he could settle in front of Oikawa. He took a deep breath to collect his thoughts, then started talking.


	7. Chapter 7

Kei leaned against the rooftop railing, watching as the last scouting party came back in. As he returned their wave to allow them into the camp, he found that he could put a name to every face below. Lev, Inuoka, Konoha, and Asahi. The party that returned before them had been made up of Noya, Tanaka, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki, and they had come back riding a wave of laughter and friendly shoves. Before them had been Iwaizumi, Yamamoto, Kenma, and Kageyama, and before them had been Narita, Yahaba, Goura, and Ogano.  
  
They all had names.  
  
Kei wondered if any of them knew his.  
  
It was his own fault if they didn’t. He was a ghost, a pale figure who haunted the upper halls of the camp, only coming down to be with the group when Kuroo or Akaashi dragged him to a meal. Even Suga still looked surprised every time he saw him in one of the main rooms.  
  
Kei sighed heavily, watching the first few stars appear as the sun set behind him.  
  
“You can see so many more now.” Kei jumped and turned with a squawk to see Kenma giving him an apologetic look.  
  
“So many more what?” Kei asked. Kenma nodded toward the east.  
  
“Stars,” he said. “It’s been a while since the power went out, but I still can’t get used to how many you can see now.” Kei looked up again.  
  
“I guess I’ve never thought about it,” he said.  
  
“You wouldn’t. Not when you lived in the country.” Kei snorted.  
  
“I didn’t really live in the country,” he said. “Hinata was the only one who actually lived outside of Sendai.”  
  
“Still,” Kenma said, not taking his eyes off of the light, “it was probably a lot more than here. I guess it’s the silver lining. Most of the world is dead or zombified, but at least now we can see the stars.”  
  
Kenma was still talking, but Kei wasn’t on the roof anymore. He stared at the stars and the edges of the sunset and all he could see was rotting flesh and glazed-over eyes. Kei was dissolving into the terror on Yamaguchi’s face.  
  
“Kei.” There was a hand on Kei’s shoulder, too small, too gentle, not right at all. “Kei, breathe. You’re safe. It’s all right. But you have to breathe.” The hand was turning Kei, pulling at him until he was on the ground. The hand was holding him tight, but the fingers were too short, too urgent.  
  
Kenma was crouching in front of him, Kenma’s hands were holding on to his face, Kenma’s voice was talking to him.  
  
“Kei, listen. Just listen, okay? I’m going to put your hand on my chest, and I need you to follow my breathing. Can you try that for me?” Without waiting for Kei to answer, Kenma seized Kei’s wrist and pressed his palm firmly against his chest. He started taking deep, exaggerated breaths, and Kei found himself beginning to follow. “The first time Kuro tried his personal time difference attack, I had no idea what he was doing. I set the ball like normal, and he totally missed it. I didn’t get it at first, why he would work so hard at a club. Honestly, I still don’t understand it completely. He always worked hard. Most people don’t notice, but he’s ambidextrous. He wasn’t born that way, he worked at it, so he could spike a ball with either hand.”  
  
“Why are you telling me this?” Kei gasped. Kenma stared at him, analyzing.  
  
“Kuro and Akaashi do it for me and Bokuto,” he said. “When I have a panic attack they sit me down and help me get my breathing regulated, and then they talk to me until I’m out of the thoughts.”  
  
“I didn’t realize-” Kei stuttered, looking down at his hand on Kenma’s chest. His skin was paler than normal and his arm was trembling. Kenma smiled bitterly at him.  
  
“It’s hard to understand at first,” Kenma said. “But I promise it is possible to learn how to live around it. It’s more common than you’d think.”  
  
“I’ve never met anyone who has them,” Kei said. Kenma laughed, a soft, humorless noise.  
  
“Besides me, I can name six other people in this camp,” he said. “Including your team’s ace.”  
  
“Azumane’s a nervous guy, sure,” Kei admitted. “But I’ve never seen him completely lose it like I do.”  
  
“He’s dealt with it longer than you,” Kenma said. “He knows how to get through every day, how to keep it down until he’s somewhere he can be safe. Trust me, Kei, I recognize the signs.” Kei wasn’t convinced, and he could tell Kenma knew it. “You’re not a freak,” Kenma told him. “But acknowledging that there’s something wrong is part of starting to fix it.” He released Kei’s hand and sat back, curling his legs in. “I’m sorry, by the way.”  
  
“For what?” Kei asked. Kenma ducked his head against his knees.  
  
“For triggering you,” he answered. Kei shrugged.  
  
“Something would have eventually,” he said. “I’ve been on edge all day.”  
  
“You shouldn’t be on watch alone if you don’t feel okay,” Kenma said. “And not just for your sake.” Kei winced and wrapped his arms around himself.  
  
“I know,” he whispered. “It’s just…”  
  
“You don’t want to be a burden,” Kenma finished for him. Kei nodded and Kenma sighed. “I’m not the right person to help you with that. I’ve spent my whole life trying to stay out of the way. But I promise that at least four of us don’t think you’re a burden, and probably most of the rest of the camp too.” Kei gave him a wry smile.  
  
“I know you probably mean that,” he said. Kenma nodded and leaned back on his hands.  
  
“When is your shift up?” he asked.  
  
“Hinata’s supposed to relieve me after six,” Kei answered. “Which means any time between now and eight.” Kenma snickered at that.  
  
“Do you want me to stay with you?” he asked. Kei nodded.  
  
“Tell me more embarrassing stories about Kuroo?” Kei asked. Kenma smiled softly.  
  
“You’re the second person to ask me to talk to them in two days,” he said.  
  
“You don’t have to,” Kei told him. He shrugged.  
  
“I don’t mind,” he said. “Do you know about the first time he met Bokuto?”  
  
“I know the memory makes Akaashi cringe,” Kei said. Kenma shuffled closer with a grin.  
  
Kei found himself smiling as he listened to Kenma’s story. It sounded implausible, but the way he told it, along with the way the captains acted around each other told Kei it was probably true. When they went downstairs a few minutes later, Kei couldn’t stop smiling.  
  
“You’re in a good mood,” Akaashi noted when Kei sat between him and Bokuto for dinner. Kei grinned at him.  
  
“Kenma told me about the celery,” he said. Akaashi shuddered.  
  
“I told him to stop bringing that up,” he said.  
  
“It was necessary,” Kenma interjected, taking his own seat on Akaashi’s other side.  
  
“You always say that,” Akaashi accused. “But most of the time you’re just out to embarrass Kuroo-san.” Kenma shrugged.  
  
“That’s necessary,” he said. “Kuro’s ego is big enough as it is. As his oldest friend, it’s my duty to cut it down as often as possible.”  
  
“Aw, Kenma, I knew you loved me,” Kuroo crooned.  
  
“I said nothing of the sort,” droned Kenma.  
  
“You love him and you know it,” Bokuto said through a mouthful of food.  
  
“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Kenma, Akaashi, and Kei all spoke together, and Kei couldn’t stop himself from laughing. He could feel all four of them watching him, but for once, he didn’t care.  
  
  
  
  
Kei didn’t mean to end up in the infirmary the next day. It was his mandatory day off and he had been haunting the upper floor like usual, bored out of his mind but not willing to go down and join the rest of the camp when Hinata had found him.  
  
“Tsukishima!” shouted the redhead, all but launching himself into Kei’s space. Kei squeezed his eyes closed and tried not to scream or run. “I found you!”  
  
“Would you like a medal?” Kei grumbled, stepping back a bit too quickly. He stumbled and had to catch himself on a nearby doorway. Hinata looked like he wanted to help, but a glare from Kei stopped him cold. “What do you want?” he asked.  
  
“Yaku-san sent me to find you!” he said. “He’s waiting for you in the infirmary.”  
  
“What does he want with me?” Kei asked, not really caring. Hinata shrugged.  
  
“Something about making you help so you don’t realize he’s checking up on you,” he said. “I don’t know, Lev told me he was looking for you and I didn’t really listen.”  
  
“Helpful,” Kei commented. Hinata grinned and spun around on his heel and before Kei fully processed what was happening, he was gone. Kei shook his head and set off after him.  
  
Hinata was waiting for him just around the corner. He grinned smugly at Kei as he fell into step beside him. Kei rolled his eyes.  
  
“Don’t you have someone else to bother?” he asked.  
  
“Nope!” Hinata chirped. “Kageyama’s busy with his old senpai, Yachi is with Shimizu-san and Suga-san, and Tanaka-san and Noya-san are out on a run,” he said, ticking them off on his fingers. “Kenma’s with Bokuto-san and Akaashi-senpai, and Inuoka is… somewhere. That leaves Lev, and he sent me to go get you.” Kei didn’t answer, just glared.  
  
He hesitated on the edge of the main lobby, watching the people milling around there warily.  
  
“Hey,” Hinata said softly. “It’s okay. Just take it a step at a time. If you want, I can go first and you can follow me.” Kei wanted to glare at him, wanted to make a snide comment and cut Hinata with his words. But Hinata was looking at him so sincerely, no trace of judgment in his eyes, and, though it pained Kei to admit it, he was right. Hinata seemed to see the acceptance in his eyes, for he nodded to himself and stepped into the lobby. Kei swallowed hard and followed him across.  
  
“Oh, good, you found him,” said Yaku when they walked into the little infirmary. Hinata gave him a grin and a salute and bounced over to where Lev was sitting with someone Kei vaguely recognized, but couldn’t name. Yaku approached Kei firmly but slowly, gesturing him over to a chair on the other side of the room. “Sit,” he said.  
  
“Hinata said you wanted me for something?” Kei asked, obeying. Yaku gave him a sharp smile, one that was startlingly similar to Kuroo’s scheming grin.  
  
“I did,” Yaku agreed. “Officially, I wanted to make sure you’re doing okay. I haven’t had a chance to look you over yet. Any injuries?” Kei shook his head.  
  
“So what did you really want me for?” he asked. Yaku grinned harder.  
  
“At the risk of gaining an enemy,” he said, and Kei’s heart sunk, “I need you to do me a favor.”  
  
“What.”  
  
“I need you to look after Lev and Kindaichi-kun,” Yaku answered, nodding over to the cluster of excitement on the other side of the room. “Lev’s a good kid, and he’s pretty helpful when he’s calm, but I’m afraid he’s gotten a little clingy. I need to be able to work, so I need you to act as a distraction.”  
  
“No.” Yaku rolled his eyes.  
  
“Wasn’t a request,” Yaku said. “I need your help, Tsukishima, and since I’m the only thing that passes for a medic in this place, I get the final say.”  
  
“Did I do something to offend you?” Kei asked. Yaku rolled his eyes.  
  
“I know Lev’s difficult,” he said. “But on the bright side, you and Kindaichi-kun should get along pretty well.”  
  
“Yeah, who is he?” Kei asked, looking over at the boy. “He looks familiar.”  
  
“I never met him before Oikawa brought him in,” Yaku said.  
  
“Oikawa, so he’s from Seijoh?” Yaku nodded.  
  
“Well, now that that’s settled,” he said, “I’ll be off. Akaashi wanted me to go on a run with him. Something about herbs or something else way over my head. In the meantime, if you want some busywork, I wouldn’t object to you cataloging all of our supplies.” With that, he left. Kei groaned and leaned his head back against the wall.  
  
“Tsukishima!” Hinata and Lev both pounced, leaving their friend to follow more slowly. The sleeve of his jacket was weirdly limp while he cradled that arm with his other hand. “What’d he want?” Hinata asked.  
  
“He wants me to supervise the two of you cataloging these supplies,” he said. Hinata’s face dropped and Lev’s brightened.  
  
“Um, yeah, I think Kenma wanted me to do something somewhere not here,” Hinata said, and he darted out of the room.  
  
“Oh, thank God,” said Kindaichi. “Is he always that intense?”  
  
“He’s usually worse,” Kei told him.  
  
“Yeah, he’s not very mature at all,” added Lev. Both Kei and Kindaichi glared at him. Lev grinned obliviously and started shifting through the boxes on the shelf. Kindaichi settled into the chair next to him.  
  
“Yaku didn’t tell you to make Lev work, did he?” Kei smirked.  
  
“He asked me to babysit,” he answered. “The work is just for my benefit.” Kindaichi snorted. “You look familiar,” he said. Kindaichi gave a wry smile.  
  
“Shallot-head,” he said. Kei choked.  
  
“No shit,” he said. Kindaichi rolled his eyes and reached up with his left hand to pull the small silver barrette out of his hair, holding his bangs straight up. “Huh, you are.”  
  
“I never got that nickname,” Kindaichi said, “until Hinata saw me a few days ago and started shouting.”  
  
“You really never got it?” Kei asked. Kindaichi smiled ruefully.  
  
“That’s one thing I never expected from the zombie apocalypse,” he said. “No more hair gel.”  
  
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you’re no the only one with that problem.”  
  
“Oh, yeah, your loud boyfriend,” Kindaichi said. Kei flinched, curling in on himself.  
  
“He’s not my boyfriend,” he said softly.  
  
“Really? I mean, I just assumed, since he seems like he’s with your other boyfriends-”  
  
“None of them are,” Kei snapped. “None of them are him!” Kindaichi stopped and stared at him.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I should have- I’m sorry.” Kei looked at the ground, trying to shake the image of Yamaguchi’s laughing brown eyes from his mind. The silence was just growing oppressive when Kindaichi spoke again. “You should talk about it.”  
  
“Fuck you,” Kei mumbled.  
  
“No, I mean it,” Kindaichi insisted. “If you don’t it’ll get worse.”  
  
“How would you know?” Kei snapped. Kindaichi raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Really?” he droned, wiggling his right arm. The sleeve flapped wildly past the elbow, having nothing to hold its shape. “I think I’ve got some experience with trauma.”  
  
“Sorry,” Kei said. “I didn’t realize-”  
  
“’Sokay,” Kindaichi interrupted. “Just makes us even.” They sat in silence, listening to Lev crash around in the next room. Kei sighed and leaned his head back against the wall.  
  
“So that’s why Yaku wanted me,” he muttered.  
  
“Misery loves company,” Kindaichi agreed. “Face it, you and I are the stars of this freakshow.” Kei snorted.  
  
“Oh, goodie.”  
  
“So, c’mon,” Kindaichi continued, nudging Kei’s shoulder with his own. “Talk.” Kei bit the inside of his cheek.  
  
“My childhood best friend and I were dating for seven months,” Kei started. “He was with us on the bus on our way up here for a training camp. We stopped at a gas station, and the cashier and these two women were there.”  
  
“Zombies?” Kindaichi asked.  
  
“It’s so weird calling them that,” Kei groaned. “It feels like we’re in a crappy American movie.”  
  
“Off the subject,” Kindaichi warned.  
  
“Fine. Yes, zombies. The whole team made it out except for Yamaguchi and I. I tripped on my way out, and instead of running like he should have, the idiot knocked over a freezer to block the door and drew them deeper into the store. Daichi-san dragged me onto the bus, and I watched through the window while they ate him.” Kei fell silent, bile rising up in his throat. He was trembling and there were hot tears pouring down his cheeks. Kindaichi laid an arm on his shoulder in solidarity.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he said. Kei didn’t answer, only trembled harder. He started gasping for breath, his whole body vibrating in his chair. The room started to spin and Kei leaned forward. His throat burned. His eyes burned. He was so, so cold, and everything was so dark. He could hear someone talking to him as he slipped out of his chair and landed on the floor, retching.  
  



	8. Chapter 8

Tetsurou woke to a sore back and a sharp pain in his abdomen. He cursed and dropped his head against the floor with a dull thunk.  
  
“A concussion won’t make it go away,” Kenma mumbled from his place snuggled against Tetsurou’s side.  
  
“It’s worth a shot,” Tetsurou grumbled.  
  
“Just go see Yaku already,” Kenma said. “He probably has a few painkillers and tampons stashed away somewhere.”  
  
“Gross,” mumbled Bokuto from Kenma’s other side. Kenma snorted and rolled away from Tetsurou and into him.  
  
“I don’t wanna hear it,” Tetsurou answered.  
  
“Kuro. Go.” Tetsurou whined one last time, for good measure, then clambered out of the blanket he had tangled himself in and stood. With a grimace he made his way across the conference room and out into the main lobby.  
  
“Yakuuuuu,” he whined as he entered the infirmary. Yaku’s bedroll was spread just inside the door, in case someone needed him in the night. “Yakuuuuu I need you.”  
  
“Aren’t you early?” Yaku groaned.  
  
“Oh, good, you’re awake,” Tetsurou said with a grin. Yaku rolled over with a grunt. “And I’m not that early, it’s almost seven.”  
  
“No, I mean you’re three days early,” Yaku replied. Tetsurou blinked and counted back in his head.  
  
“Shit, you’re right,” he said. “Hey, how did you know that’s why I was here?”  
  
“You’re even more irritating than usual,” Yaku answered. He pushed himself up and wandered over to his bag. “Unfortunately, Shimizu-san was just here last week, so my supplies are a little low.”  
  
“I’ll tell Akaashi to add it to the run inventory,” Tetsurou said, taking the box Yaku offered him. “I don’t suppose you have any painkillers?”  
  
“Not if you can still walk,” Yaku answered. “Between you and Shimizu-san and Yachi-san, Kindaichi-kun, and Oikawa, we have to be careful with our rations.” Tetsurou grimaced, but he nodded his understanding.  
  
“Since I can still walk and I’m off guard duty now, do you need any help in here today?” he asked. Yaku shook his head.  
  
“I’m covered today,” he said. “And I don’t really want to be anywhere near you when you start getting weepy.”  
  
“I don’t get weepy,” Tetsurou argued.  
  
“Last month you started crying because Kai smiled at you,” Yaku said.  
  
“That was not my fault,” Tetsurou replied. “We had just survived an entire horde coming after us, and Kai made a joke. It was a cathartic moment.”  
  
“And you sobbed for three hours,” Yaku pointed out. “Besides, the horde wouldn’t have been there if it hadn’t been for you in the first place.”  
  
“What’s your point?” Yaku snorted.  
  
“Get out,” he ordered.  
  
“Love you, Mori-chan!” Tetsurou sing-songed, ducking to avoid the shoe Yaku chucked at his head. He turned to find his vice crossing the lobby. “Kai!” he called.  
  
“Oh, hey, I was just looking for you,” Kai said. “Akaashi-kun wanted to talk to you.”  
  
“Okay, I’ll find him before breakfast,” Tetsurou said. “And I need a favor. D’you think you can cover my guard shift today?” Kai narrowed his eyes.  
  
“Isn’t it a bit early for that?” he asked. Tetsurou threw his hands in the air.  
  
“Does the whole fucking team have my cycle memorized?” he shouted. Kai rolled his eyes.  
  
“We had a chart in the locker room,” he said. “Yamamoto calls it Red Week.”  
  
“I hate all of you,” Tetsurou grumbled. “Will you cover my shift or not? I can’t exactly go outside right now.”  
  
“Why not?” Tetsurou jumped and turned at the sound of Tsukishima’s tired voice.  
  
“Because zombies are attracted to the smell of blood,” Kai explained. Tsukishima gave him a puzzled look.  
  
“Are you hurt?” he asked Tetsurou. Kai started laughing, the bastard.  
  
“No, not really,” Tetsurou mumbled, but Tsukishima looked no less confused.  
  
“He’s on his period,” Kai wheezed. Tsukishima turned a bright red and Kai laughed harder.  
  
“I’m very glad that you are so entertained by this,” Tetsurou snapped. Kai grinned and clapped Tetsurou on the back before sauntering off toward the rooftop. “Sorry,” he mumbled when he and Tsukishima were alone. Tsukishima shrugged.  
  
“It’s not like you can control it,” he said. “Are you going to be okay, though? Don’t you get really bad cramps or something?” Tetsurou dutifully ignored the flutter in his chest at the words.  
  
“I’m going to have to be okay,” he said. “I can’t believe you remember that, though. You really do care.” He mimed wiping a tear from his cheek, grinning when it earned him one of Tsukishima’s deadpan looks.  
  
“I just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t have to rescue Kozume-san,” he said. “He puts up with enough of your crap during the rest of the month.”  
  
“You wound me, Kei,” Tetsurou said. Tsukishima smiled - actually smiled. “C’mon, have you had breakfast yet?” Tsukishima shook his head.  
  
“I helped make it, though,” he said as he and Tetsurou walked toward the mess hall.  
  
“Is it any good?”  
  
“I helped make it,” Tsukishima repeated.  
  
“I’m going to assume that means yes.” Tsukishima snorted.  
  
“If that’s what makes you happy,” he droned. Tetsurou grinned.  
  
“Hey, is it okay if I touch you?” he asked. Tsukishima’s eyes went wide and he stopped in his tracks.  
  
“I-”  
  
“It’s okay if the answer is no!” Tetsurou said quickly. “That’s why I’m asking, y’know?” Tsukishima paused, thinking it over.  
  
“It depends on the type of touch, I guess,” he said after a moment.  
  
“Can I hold your hand?” Tsukishima made a pained face. “Okay, no. Can I-” he reached out to let his arm hover over Tsukishima’s shoulders. Tsukishima nodded hesitantly, and Tetsurou let his arm settle into place. After a tense moment, Tsukishima’s shoulders relaxed and they started walking again.  
  
Akaashi and Kenma were waiting for them in the mess hall, Bokuto having already finished his meal and joined Kai in guard duty. Tetsurou flopped onto his side with his head in Kenma’s lap, letting out a long groan.  
  
“Kill me?” he asked. Kenma chuckled and shook his head, weaving his fingers through Tetsurou’s hair. “You’re the worst boyfriend ever.”  
  
“Sorry, Kuro,” he said, not sounding sorry at all. Tetsurou huffed and grabbed a biscuit off of Kenma’s plate.  
  
“Hey, ‘Kaashi, Kai said you were looking for me,” he said around the mouthful of bread. Both Akaashi and Tsukishima shot him horrified looks.  
  
“Yeah, I was going to tell you we need to move up our timetable for a move, but it looks like that’s going to have to wait,” Akaashi answered.  
  
“We can go ahead and make sure all the other captains and vices have checked out the university,” Tetsurou suggested.  
  
“Everyone has but Oikawa, and he’s not going to be able to,” Akaashi said. “Which was the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. Yaku’s worried about him not being able to make the trip. Kindaichi too.”  
  
“We have what, four days of water left?” Akaashi nodded. “Which means I’m probably not going to be able to make it either.”  
  
“Not an option,” Akaashi said. “We’re getting all three of you to that university.”  
  
“I’m not putting the group in danger like that,” Tetsurou argued.  
  
“You may not have to,” Tsukishima interrupted. Tetsurou rolled onto his back so he could look at him. “Azumane-san’s pretty good with cars,” Tsukishima said with a shrug. “He could probably hotwire one of the ones in the parking lot and drive you three there.”  
  
“Kei, that’s brilliant,” Tetsurou said. “Why didn’t any of us think of that?”  
  
“He may not even have to hotwire,” Kenma said. “If there are any government cars, the keys will be somewhere in the building.”  
  
“The only problem would be clearing the streets,” Akaashi hummed. “There are too many abandoned cars on the roads to make a straight shot.”  
  
“Akaashi.” Tetsurou sat bolt-upright, pitching his voice to mimic Bokuto’s. “Akaashi. Snowplough.”  
  
“Yes, Bokuto-san, if we can find a snowplough we will use it,” Akaashi humored. Tetsurou found himself grinning until a stab of pain through his abdomen made him whimper and curl in on himself. Kenma stroked his forehead tenderly.  
  
“You going to be okay, Kuro?” he murmured. Tetsurou shrugged, clutching his belly. “It’s my free day. Do you want me to stay with you?”  
  
“Aw, I love you too, babe,” Tetsurou crooned, wriggling so that he cold wrap an arm around Kenma’s waist. Kenma huffed fondly and patted his elbow.  
  
“Alright,” Akaashi said, standing and brushing dust off his pants. “Kei, you’re with me today. We’ll find Azumane-san and see what we can get set up. Tetsurou, Kenma, I want you to find the other captains and fill them in. And see if you can find Karasuno’s coach while you’re at it. We could use an actual adult right around now.”  
  
“Yes sir.” Tetsurou gave him a lopsided salute as he and Tsukishima walked off. He took a deep breath and curled a little tighter around Kenma.  
  
“Are you really okay?” Kenma asked. Tetsurou snorted.  
  
“You know me too well, Kitten,” he answered. “I’ll be fine. It’s not like I have much of a choice.” Kenma pulled Tetsurou’s arm away from him, wriggling around until he could lay against Tetsurou’s chest, his head tucked under Tetsurou’s chin. “Talk to me?”  
  
“Why do people keep asking me that?” Kenma huffed. Tetsurou grinned, breathing in the scent that clung to Kenma’s hair.  
  
“Because you have a nice voice,” he answered. “It’s easy to think everything will be okay if you’re talking.” Kenma huffed, but he spoke anyway.  
  
“Shouyou has this elaborate plan to get the power back on once we get to the university,” he said. “He says he say a power station on the way there, and if he could get Kei to look at it, Kei would unleash his crazy intelligence and make it work like magic.”  
  
“Does he know there are generators at the school?” Tetsurou asked. Kenma shook his head.  
  
“I didn’t want to kill his dreams,” he said. Tetsurou could hear the smirk in his voice.  
  
“So how does he think he’s going to get it to work?” he asked.  
  
“The power of friendship.” Tetsurou gave a startled snort. Kenma smiled fondly at him and started stroking his thumb up and down the nape of Tetsurou's neck as he told him more about the shrimp's plans to save the world.  
  
  
"Hey, Kenma?" Tetsurou said sometime later, when the haze of pain had settled and Kenma's voice had all but lulled him to sleep.  
  
  
"What do you need, Kuro?" Kenma asked. The phrase filled Tetsurou with a sense of warmth. It was a token carried over from when they had been kids and Kenma's anxiety had gotten the best of him. Most questions had overwhelmed him, but for some reason he would always calm down when Tetsurou asked him what he needed. Even if he couldn't tell Tetsurou, the words were enough.  
  
  
"I just wanted to make sure you knew that I love you," he said. Kenma leaned back so that he could look up at Tetsurou with narrowed eyes.  
  
  
"Of course I know that," he said. "Why is it so important?" Tetsurou shrugged.  
  
  
"I just wanted to make sure," he repeated. "I know that the lines have gotten blurry lately with Bokuto and Akaashi, and I need you to know that I'm your boyfriend first. If anything ever makes you uncomfortable, I will drop everything to make it right."  
  
  
"Really?" Kenma deadpanned. "You would give up Bokuto, for me?" Tetsurou smiled, brushing a strand of blond hair out of Kenma's face.  
  
  
"I would never so much as think about Bokuto again, if that's what you wanted," he answered. Kenma surged forward and hid his face in Tetsurou's chest, clutching to his shirt. "Kenma, what's wrong?" he asked softly. Kenma shook his head.  
  
  
"I love you too," he said, the words muffled, though it didn't matter. Tetsurou would always hear Kenma. He gathered the boy in his arms and pressed his face into his hair. Slowly, quietly, feeling like a complete fool, Tetsurou started humming. Kenma picked up the melody and snorted. Then he began to sing with Tetsurou, a lullaby that Tetsurou had written when he was twelve and a master of romance. Kenma had made fun of him for it, but he had never forgotten the words. Tetsurou smiled as he hummed, letting the sound wash over him and Kenma, leaving them in a world of their own.  
  
  
Sometime later Tetsurou led Kenma on a hunt through the camp. He had been in charge of this group for far to long, and he needed some help. Looking around the camp as he searched, it hit him that everyone here was really just a kid. He shook his head and tightened his hold on Kenma's shoulders and moved on to the upper floor. They needed help from actual grown-ups, though a rebellious voice in Tetsurou's head - one that sounded strangely like Bokuto - insisted otherwise.  
  
  
He found them at last sharing a plate of dried fruit in an unused office. They sat on the desk side-by-side with the plate balanced on both their legs, looking out the window. Kenma shuffled awkwardly until he was half-hidden behind Tetsurou, eyeing the harsh-looking coach warily. The coach eyed them back and Tetsurou bit the inside of his cheek.  
  
  
"Excuse the interruption," Tetsurou said softly. "I don't know if we've actually met. I'm Kuroo Tetsurou, and this is Kozume Kenma." The smaller of the two, the dark haired teacher, stood up with a nod and a pale face.  
  
  
"I was wondering when you would come find us," he said, holding out a hand. "Takeda Ittetsu. This is Ukai Keishin."  
  
  
"What do you want?" Ukai asked gruffly. Tetsurou flushed and looked down.  
  
  
"Help," he said. "Look, I'm just a kid, okay? I'm seventeen, and Akaashi's sixteen. We can't be in charge of everyone, we'll get us all killed. We need someone to help us decide what to do, to look after all of us, and I'm sorry, but you're the only adults here." Takeda glanced back at Ukai, his jaw tightening. He put a hand on Tetsurou's shoulder and steered both him and Kenma out of the office. As the door closed Tetsurou was sure he caught a glimpse of Ukai opening his mouth to say something, something he was sure he did not want to hear.  
  
  
"I'm sorry, Kuroo-kun," he said when they were in the hallway. "I'm afraid that Ukai-kun and I haven't been very responsible adults."  
  
  
"It's okay," Tetsurou assured him. He paused, furrowing his brow. "Well, no, it's not okay, but it can be," he amended.  
  
  
"If you can tell me how, I'm all ears," Takeda said. Tetsurou felt his shoulders relaxing as if a weight had been lifted from them by this nerdy looking teacher.  
  
  
"We wouldn't ask if we had a choice," Kenma spoke up. "It hasn't been easy on anyone, and that includes both of you." Takeda shook his head.  
  
  
"Still, the fact remains that I'm an adult, and a teacher to boot. But, if I'm entirely honest, that's what scares Ukai. He doesn't think he's good enough to be in charge of our team, let alone everyone else." Takeda looked down, wringing his hands together. "I'm afraid I let myself grow complacent when I saw how well you and Akaashi-kun were handling things. I'm sorry for that."  
  
  
Tetsurou looked to Kenma, who nodded. "Make it up to us," Tetsurou said. Takeda's eyes widened and he looked like he was about to speak, but evidently thought better of it.  
  
  
"How?" he asked simply.  
  
  
"Come to the captain meeting tonight," Tetsurou suggested. "We're moving camp, probably tomorrow. We could use wiser input." Takeda shook his head.  
  
  
"I'll come," he said, "but I can't guarantee Ukai-kun will."  
  
  
"That's fine," Kenma said. "If he doesn't want to, he probably wouldn't be much help for us anyway." Takeda smiled, looking oddly fond.  
  
  
"Okay," he said after a moment. "What time?"  
  
"After dinner," Tetsurou answered. "I have to check on Akaashi and Tsukishima and see how they're coming with maybe getting us a vehicle, and then I need to make my rounds through the camp and check that dinner is being made, and that the packing gets started before," he listed, ticking off each item on his fingers. Takeda watched him with a lip between his teeth.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kuroo-kun," he said, surging forward to put a hand on Tetsurou's shoulder.  
  
"For what?" Tetsurou asked, shocked.  
  
"That you have to have an itemized to-do list to make sure that everyone is okay," he answered. "That you have to be so responsible at such a young age, while I've been hiding from you all this time." Tetsurou shrugged and gave Takeda a smile.  
  
"It's okay, Sensei," he said. Takeda shook his head, but didn't answer.  
  
"He's not what I expected," Kenma said when they were on their way back downstairs.  
  
"What did you expect?" Tetsurou asked. Kenma shook his head.  
  
"I'm not sure," he answered. "But he didn't shy away or get defensive, and he didn't step up entirely. He's still hiding, but he's trying to be upfront about it." Tetsurou shook his head.  
  
"Have I ever told you how glad I am that you're on my side?" he asked. Kenma rolled his eyes and elbowed him sharply. Tetsurou laughed and draped himself across Kenma's shoulders, reveling in his warmth as they went to find Tsukishima and Akaashi.  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone, sorry for the late update! I've been taking a serious look at this story and where it's going, and I really think that this chapter (and the rest of the fic) are better off for it.  
> Enjoy!

This was the worst experience of Tetsurou’s short life.  
  
As soon as the thought filtered through his mind Tetsurou regretted it; of course other times had been worse. Like all the trouble he’d had when he had fist realized he was not a girl. Or when he realized he was in love with his best fiend, and then when he realized that he was in love with three other people as well.  
  
Oh, and there was the time when his family and neighbors and most of society in general all either died or turned into mindless cannibals. There was that time too.  
  
So really, bouncing along in a smelly snowplough, piled on top of Oikawa and Kindaichi while Karasuno’s timid ace rammed through the streets full of abandoned cars as Tetsurou bled and cramped and wallowed in his bad mood wasn’t the worst thing that had ever happened to him.  
  
It was the second worst.  
  
He said as much to Kindaichi, who honestly looked like he could use a little more sarcasm in his life. Kindaichi blinked at him in confusion, looking to Oikawa who shrugged and returned to brooding in his corner.  
  
“It’s a joke,” Tetsurou explained. Kindaichi flushed and nodded, looking down at his feet, which were propped on the window behind Oikawa’s head. For a couple of blocks there was no sound in the snowplough but the occasional crash and the shuffle of fabric. Tetsurou craned his head to try and catch sight of the main group, but they were moving parallel to them, a couple of blocks to the north. Something about a large group of people and a snowplough combined drawing too much attention. Still, Tetsurou wished he could know how Kenma was doing. And Tsukishima. And Akaashi and Bokuto. And the others too, if Tetsurou was being entirely honest with himself. He sighed heavily. He was too attached.  
  
“Kuroo-san, can I ask you something?” Tetsurou jerked out of his thoughts to look at Kindaichi.   
  
“Shoot,” he prompted when it looked as though Kindaichi wouldn’t speak on his own.   
  
“I don’t mean to be rude, I was just wonde-”  
  
“Hold that thought,” Oikawa interrupted.  
  
Kindaichi never got the chance to finish the question.   
  
-  
  
It was Konoha who first noticed it. The entire group had been moving in silence, listening to the sound of Asahi pushing cars out of the way in the distance. Konoha was walking next to Koushi near the front of the group when he pulled on Koushi’s sleeve and spoke quietly.  
  
“It’s gone quiet,” he murmured. Koushi listened and sure enough, the snowplough hadn’t hit anything in over a minute. Then, similar to the crashes, but just different enough for a trained ear to catch, a gunshot. Koushi’s jaw tightened.  
  
“Keep walking,” he whispered. “Don’t draw attention to it. And whatever you do-”  
  
“Don’t make noise,” Konoha finished for him. Koushi nodded.  
  
“If the horde is small enough to fight then Asahi will be able to take care of it. If it’s too big for them, then going to help will only mean losing more people. We can’t afford that.” Konoha clapped him on the shoulder, his own spine tense. Koushi gritted his teeth and closed his eyes as he sacrificed Asahi and the other three to the good of the camp.  
  
There was just one problem.  
  
Kenma must have realized only shortly after Konoha. He stopped walking so abruptly that both Bokuto and Tsukishima collided with him.  
  
“Kenma?” Akaashi asked, his hand going to his pistol. “What’s up?” Kenma looked up at him, visibly shaken.  
  
“Kuro,” he answered. He stood still as a stone for a moment, then all at once he took off sprinting down a side street. Akaashi and Bokuto both took off after him, followed closely by Hinata. Koushi darted in front of the intersection, spreading his arms to keep anyone else from following.   
  
“Daichi,” he said. “Go make sure Hinata’s okay. Everyone else, keep moving.” Several protests sprang up around the crowd, the most notable coming from Tanaka and Noya. Suga squared his shoulders and stared them down.  
  
“Sugawara-kun is right,” Iwaizumi said. “It’s not worth it if we all go, we’ll just attract attention.” He had a tight grip on Kageyama’s arm, keeping him from bolting. The group started moving and Koushi nodded at him gratefully.   
  
Koushi allowed himself one moment to watch Daichi’s retreating figure before he followed them.  
  
-  
  
It began with a groan.  
  
Yuutarou fell silent, eyes darting to the window. Oikawa sat up a little higher, peering out as well. He swore and ducked down.   
  
“Stop the plough,” he hissed. Azumane stepped on the brake, turning off the engine as soon as they rolled to a stop. Yuutarou leaned over Oikawa enough to see the first zombie shuffle out from between two buildings. As Yuutarou watched it stopped and seemed to scan the street before it. It locked eyes on the plough and began to shuffle forward.  
  
“Shit,” hissed Kuroo, shifting on top of Yuutarou so that he could crouch in the footwell in front of the seat. He pulled a pistol out from under his jacket and handed it to Oikawa. “Don’t shoot unless you’re sure there’s only one,” he said.   
  
“I know, I know,” Oikawa grumbled, taking aim through the window. He cursed and withdrew the gun. “There’s two more.” Yuutarou leaned forward to check, and, sure enough. There were three zombies shuffling in the plough’s general direction.  
  
“I don’t think they know exactly where we are,” he whispered.  
  
“They will soon,” Kuroo said. His face was pale as he crouched lower. “Oikawa, open the door. I’ll draw them o-” Oikawa kicked him.  
  
“We don’t have time for you to play martyr,” he snarled. “We’re not sacrificing anyone, that trope is way too overdone.”  
  
“Besides, there’ll only be more once we start moving again,” Azumane added. “Even if you draw off those three, three more will show up in a block or two.”  
  
“We’re not far from the university,” Kuroo said. “You could make it if you push.”  
  
“Yeah, but we’d draw too much attention doing so,” Oikawa argued. “We’d drag every zombie in a mile radius right to our new front door.”  
  
“What if you go without the plough?” Kuroo suggested. “You can make it half a kilometer, can’t you?”  
  
“Yeah, but that still leaves the problem of the three out there.” Oikawa was gesturing with the gun now, and Yuutarou was growing nervous.  
  
“Those three won’t be a problem if I draw them off,” Kuroo argued. Yuutarou groaned and dropped his head into his hands.  
  
“There’s three of them, right?” he asked. Oikawa glanced out the window, then nodded. “How good a shot are the two of you?”  
  
“No good,” Oikawa said. “I’ve never shot a gun.”  
  
“I can hit maybe one in three targets,” Kuroo said.  
  
“I’m pretty good.” Three sets of eyes swiveled to stare at Azumane, who rubbed the back of his neck. “I used to go hunting all the time with Suga. I’m a good shot.” Without a word Oikawa handed him the gun.  
  
“Are you sure you can do it?” Kuroo asked. Azumane swallowed hard, already climbing out of the cab.  
  
“If I can’t, it won’t matter much,” he said as he swung himself onto the hood of the plough.  
  
“Well, that was dramatic,” Oikawa muttered. Kuroo and Yuutarou didn’t answer, too busy fighting for a place at the window. Azumane fired, hitting one in the shoulder. It stumbled and looked around blankly. Azumane fired again, this time hitting it in the head. It went down, and one of the other two shuffled toward it. The third, however, was looking in their direction.  
  
“How many shots does that clip have?” Yuutarou asked. Kuroo glanced at him, then back out the window.  
  
“Seven more,” he answered. “He should be fine.” Azumane grazed the zombie in the neck. It stumbled back into the other. Oikawa began to tremble as it righted itself and started shuffling toward them. Azumane fired again, and it went down.   
  
The last zombie was investigating that one now. It pressed its hand to his face, eying it with its head cocked like a dog. It looked up and started moving toward them.   
  
Azumane shot twice more.  
  
-  
  
Tooru watched the last zombie hit the ground with a nauseous sense of relief. Azumane climbed back into the cab and started the snowplough again. They started moving with a rumbling groan, and Tooru let himself relax. Kuroo climbed back into his lap and they continued on their way. Tooru leaned his head back against the window and closed his eyes.  
  
He didn’t see anything, in the end.  
  
They came from nowhere, seeming to materialize from the ground itself just before they rammed into the side of the plough. The plough wobbled, but held its course. Tooru tightened his hold on Kuroo and slid down in his seat. Another attack, this one stronger, tipped the plough. It landed again with a heavy crash and Azumane kept driving. A third attack. The plough went down.  
  
The world was reduced to spinning lights and muffled sounds. Tooru crawled, the cotton in his mind pierced by sharp stabs of glass digging into his palms. He must have made it outside, for the light grew sharper overhead. The sounds started to resemble voices, screaming words he couldn’t make out. A flash of orange streaked past his vision and he followed it blearily.   
  
Something was wrapped around his chest and dragging him away from the blur, pulling him back. He looked up and the face of Karasuno’s captain swam in front of him. The captain said something, but it was lost in the thick air between them. There was blood on his chin.  
  
The something around his chest moved to his hips, and suddenly Tooru was flying, spinning through the air. He registered that his head was below his chest and the earth was above him before everything went black.  
  
-  
  
Yuutarou watched them carry Oikawa and Kuroo away. Neither one of them had been able to stand after the crash, something to do with Kuroo’s leg and the amount of blood dripping from Oikawa’s temple. Yuutarou sighed in relief. They would make it to the university just fine; both Karasuno and Fukurodani’s captains were capable of that much. It left that ginger spiker from Karasuno, the pudding-head from Nekoma, and that pretty setter that reminded him so much of Kunimi to help Azumane with the rest of the horde.   
  
Yuutarou wasn’t sure if there had only been a few zombies or if the fighters were just that good, because when he peered through the body there were only two left. Azumane took one out with a hunk of scrap metal and the setter shot the other in the head. Yuutarou smiled in relief. Just one more and the camp would be fine.  
  
“Are you alright?” The voice that spoke in Yuutarou’s ear was low and gruff, reminding him of his uncle back home. He squinted into the sun to find Karasuno’s coach squatting next to him.  
  
“I need a favor,” he said softly. They both glanced at the others, who were taking stock. Yuutarou turned his leg so that the coach could see the ripped fabric, the blood, the tears in his skin. “I don’t want to infect anyone else,” he explained. The coach reeled back a bit, then forced himself back forward. He settled a large, warm hand on Yuutarou’s shoulder.   
  
“Azumane,” he called. “Where’s that pistol?” The pretty setter walked over and handed one to the coach, not the same one they had used in the plough. “You kids head back,” The coach said. “I’ll catch up.”  
  
“What about Kindaichi?” asked the ginger spiker. Hinata, that was his name. He was friends with Lev. Hinata stared at Kindaichi with those wide brown eyes, so innocent for all that there was blood splattered across his clothes and hands. Yuutarou smiled at him.  
  
“I’ll be fine,” he said. “I need someone to bandage my leg so I can walk on it. We’ll catch up.” The pudding-head took Hinata’s hand and led him away. The others followed slowly, the setter going last. He looked at Yuutarou for a long moment before he turned to follow the others. Yuutarou looked up at the coach and nodded. “Thank you,” he said. The coach shrugged.  
  
“Don’t thank me,” he said. “You’re the second kid I couldn’t save since this whole damn thing began. It’s almost easier not knowing your name.”  
  
“Would you like to?” Yuutarou asked.  
  
“No.” With that one word, Yuutarou found himself looking down the barrel of the pistol. He raised his eyes past it to see the coach’s hand shaking slightly, so he closed his eyes and leaned forward until his forehead met cold metal. He took a breath.  
  
He took another.  
  
He heard the click of the gun being cocked. He heard the crack of the bullet firing. The pain was a single star of light burning too-bright in a dark sky, and then it was gone.  
  
-  
  
Keishin looked down at the boy he had just shot. He wiped the still-hot barrel of the gun on his shirt and turned away.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my project for NaNoWriMo this year. I'm not sure how often I'll update it, but probably at least once a week.
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr](http://notsuchasecret.tumblr.com)


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